


There is No Mathematics to Love

by nolivingunderstarlight



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, I haven't finished writing it so I will edit the tags as I figure out what needs to be tagged, Multi, Polyamory, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolivingunderstarlight/pseuds/nolivingunderstarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon through Arrow 3.09 and Flash 1.09, and blatantly ignoring all canon after that. </p><p>Oliver thought he went to face Ra's Al Ghul alone. There were a few people who weren't about to let him die out there, no matter what that meant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wait

“And the second thing?” Felicity asked, heart in her throat.

“... I love you.” Oliver smiled and walked away. Felicity watched Oliver leave, partially stunned, very nervous, but mostly scheming how to not let him do this alone. Not that she didn’t believe he could win – she meant every word she’d said. But what if he didn’t? What if he didn’t kill Ra’s, what if her fears came true? Someone needed to be there to catch him if he fell.

When Diggle found her shortly thereafter, she was already finding out the fastest way to get to this oh-so-secret neutral location, muttering under her breath about Oliver being good, but not so good that she can’t follow him.

“So we’re going after him,” Diggle said, leaning on the table. Felicity jumped and spun in her chair to face him.

“Of course we are. He needs us. What if-” She cut herself off, as Diggle made a face that clearly said ‘never finish that thought.’ “We’re going to go. And if everything goes well, then we’ll get home, and it’ll be like we were never there. But if he needs us, we have to be there.”

“We can’t intervene in the fight,” he pointed out.

“I know.”

“And we’re not as stealthy as Oliver. There will be League people all over.”

“I. Know.”

“And what if something happens in Starling? Malcolm will know that he’s gone-”

“I know, Dig, I know! Just - Trust me, okay?” Felicity whipped out her cell phone, propping it between her shoulder and ear while still typing. “Barry?”

“What’s up?”

“We- I really need you in Starling City like, right now.” The line went dead. Felicity stared at her phone for a second, deeply offended. “He just hung up on me!”

“Probably so he can race over here,” Diggle pointed out. “You did say ‘right now.’” Felicity shook her head and set the phone aside, her attention back on trying to get plane tickets. He stepped up, reading over her shoulder. “Only three?”

“You, me, Barry. Roy stays here... just in case something happens.” He nodded; it was a good plan, all told, so he headed out to find Roy and fill him in while Felicity printed out tickets and started getting everything else in order - figuring out how to get three people as close to this mountain as possible, how to do it as quickly as possible, and made a list of what to bring. Her attention was only broken when, less than an hour later, a blur and a gust of wind scattered her papers.

“Augh, I need more paperweights!” she exclaimed, gathering them up frantically and slamming them under the nearest heavy object – one of Roy’s batons. When she looked up, Barry was hovering over her shoulder with a worried look. “Okay, good, you’re here. We’ll get Diggle and go.”

“Go where? What’s going on? And can we stop to get dinner on the way or something because I just ran 600 miles in like 48 minutes which means I am starving,” Barry informed her shoulder, following as Felicity gathered her stuff.

“Yeah, we’ll get food at the airport. Can you get all these things together while I finish this?” She handed him the list she’d made – medical supplies, mostly, and some weapons - before turning away again. Barry gave her one concerned look before whizzing around the room. She hadn’t even gotten the fake IDs off the printer before he was back, stopping next to her with a small smile, a green backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked gently, watching her finish gathering her papers.

“Yes, absolutely.” She took a deep breath, then gave him the Cliff’s Notes version of recent events as they climbed the stairs out of the Foundry. Diggle had a car ready, and she wrapped up the story as he started to drive (only a little illegally) towards the airport.

“What exactly is our plan?” Barry asked after a somber silence to contemplate the situation.

“We’re going to get there, we’re going to get to that mountain, and we’re going to be ready to help him. You can probably get close enough to watch without being seen by any of the League, even though Diggle and I can’t. But we’ll still be there if he needs us, and we can help him.” Felicity rubbed her thumb against her fingertips. “We aren’t letting him do this alone.”

“Right, of course not…” Barry stared out the window. He could run there faster than this. He could stop Oliver, or make a plan with him, anything to save his life… but Oliver wanted to do this by the rules. And if he ran there and left them behind, Felicity would never forgive him. Somehow, Barry managed to get some food as they rushed through the airport, given that they were able to make it past security in practically no time at all. And then they were en route, chasing Oliver, with nothing to do but wait. It was far too slow a pace for anyone’s liking, but at least it was something.

By the time their flight landed, all three were on edge- Felicity couldn’t stop fidgeting with her hands, Diggle had a look of utter calmness that could turn into something very dangerous at the drop of a hat, and Barry seemed like he was about ready to take flight. They were only halfway there, however, and getting from the airport to the remote cliff was no easy task; it was only thanks to Felicity’s resourcefulness and Barry’s speed that they caught up to Oliver at all, reaching the base just as he made it to the top.

“Okay, plan,” Barry demanded, eyes glued to the spot where Oliver had disappeared over the edge.

“Don’t let anyone see you – League or Oliver. Keep an eye on him, but don’t intervene – he’ll kill you if the League doesn’t first.” Barry nodded. “Find a way up and down, and if he needs us, bring us up, or if he needs an out, get him down here.”

“Got it.” Barry sped off, nothing more than a red blur zooming up the rocks and kicking up snow. Felicity wrapped her coat around her and sidestepped nervously towards Diggle. He put a hand on her shoulder and stared at the cliff, and together they watched, waiting. They could hear the clanging of swords sometimes, but couldn’t see a damned thing – until Oliver backed up to the cliff’s edge, at which point they both stopped breathing.

Then Oliver lunged at Ra’s.

Ra’s lunged back.

Felicity screamed.


	2. Patience is a Frustrating Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the only thing to do is wait. Again.

As Oliver’s body toppled off the cliff, a red blur zoomed back and forth, trying to find a solid place to stand to catch him. Oliver hit a patch of snow and slid down a dozen yards, before freefalling onto a ledge; a half second later, Barry was there. As he tried to figure out how to pick up Oliver’s substantially heavier and now rather broken frame, Felicity covered her mouth with both hands and started sobbing.

Once he had Oliver securely in his arms, Barry sped off, down the cliff face and back towards civilization. Felicity spun to watch, for all of two seconds, the blur fading away. Sniffling, choking back sobs, she hiked the backpack up her shoulders and set off in the direction they’d come. Diggle was hot on her heels, soldier training taking over in the face of absolute crisis.

After what felt like far too long, but was only a few minutes, the blur returned; Barry picked Felicity up before she knew what was going on and sped off. He carefully deposited her by a chair in the waiting room of the hospital.

“I’m going back for Diggle. Just stay here,” he half ordered, half begged. She nodded and sniffled as he sped off again, leaving her alone in a foreign hotel where she didn’t speak the language and with no way to find out anything about Oliver. Somehow, she ended up sitting in the chair, the backpack hugged to her chest. Barry and Diggle appeared a minute later, Diggle looking quite shaken up. Barry simply straightened up, rubbing his back with one hand, muttering about Oliver and Diggle not exactly being lightweights. Felicity half giggled, half sobbed at the comment, drawing his attention.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay,” Barry said soothingly, though ultimately unconvincingly, dropping into the chair next to Felicity. He gently pulled one of her hands off the backpack so he could squeeze it reassuringly. Diggle, meanwhile, was saying things like “he’ll be fine” and “no news is good news” and “if he can live through the island and Slade Wilson twice, he’ll be just fine now.”

For a long time, they sat there – Diggle standing, watching the doorways – with Barry holding Felicity’s hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. She just stared straight ahead, sniffling periodically, crying until the tears ran out. After a while, she demanded that Barry describe exactly what he saw, which he did reluctantly. That brought on a fresh wave of tears, and she ended up slumped over on Barry’s shoulder. Many, many hours later, a doctor finally emerged, still half in scrubs. Barry recognized him and jumped up, Felicity and Diggle following suit a second later.

“You are the friends of Joe West?” the doctor asked in heavily accented English.

“That’s us. How is he?”

“We were able to repair his lung and set his bones, and he is stable for now, but it is not good.” He went on to explain Oliver’s full diagnosis - a twice-punctured lung, multiple broken bones, internal bleeding, a severe concussion- what they had done, and what the doctors recommended. “You wish to visit him, yes?” he asked when he finished. Felicity nodded eagerly, already stepping forward. The doctor led them to an ICU room, where Oliver laid heavily bandaged, in casts, and hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes. The doctor was saying something or other about keeping him heavily sedated until his lung could keep up, but Felicity wasn’t listening. She pulled the sole chair in the room over to his bed and sat down, gently taking hold of his hand. He didn’t respond – not that she expected him to, but even so, she started crying again. Not just because it was heartbreaking, but because sitting here, she was sure he was alive, which was more than could be said several hours before.

When the doctor eventually left, Diggle somehow scrounged up two more chairs, crappy plastic ones, so he and Barry could take up residence at Oliver’s side as well. Diggle sat at the foot of his bed, positioned so that he had the door in one eye and the window in the other. After a moment of hesitation, Barry sat next to Felicity, taking her other hand again, trying to comfort her in some little way.

“Joe West?” Diggle asked, once they were truly alone and Felicity had calmed back down. Barry smiled sheepishly.

“I panicked, okay? I figured the last thing we wanted to do was tell them his actual name, in case word got back to the League… the only name I could think of was Joe’s!”

“That was actually a good idea,” Diggle admitted, giving him an approving nod. “Gonna make it hard to get him out of here, though, since his passport’s in his name… assuming he even has it…” Felicity stirred at that, abruptly seeming energized. She dropped both Barry and Oliver’s hands, whipping various pieces of technology out of the backpack.

“If I can get a hold of Caitlin, we won’t need to worry about that,” she announced. “She’s qualified enough to monitor Oliver while we fly him home, right? So if we can get a plane and get her, we can just go home.”

“What, back to Starling City? Where the League might still be? And Malcolm Merlyn is still doing… whatever the hell he’s doing?” Barry looked at Felicity, skeptical. “We should take him to Central City. We can hide him in Star Labs until he’s better, Caitlin can keep an eye on him-”

“And what about Starling, huh?” Diggle interrupted. “Felicity and I need to stay with Oliver, but if we’re not in Starling, who’s going to keep up the Arrow’s work and keep Merlyn from doing anything?”

“Roy. And me. I can be there in forty-five minutes, if Roy needs me. Besides, no one knows Oliver’s hurt. They’ll still be scared.”

“Unless… they think he’s dead,” Felicity said slowly, pausing in what she was working on. “I mean, the League thinks he’s dead. What if we let everyone else think he is too? Then Malcolm will do whatever he wants to without putting Thea in more danger to manipulate Oliver, and we can stop him.”

“Felicity-”

“I know, it’s just an idea, and Oliver will have to decide when he wakes up, but think about it.” That said, she went back to her electronics; with nothing else to say, Barry and Diggle considered the options while listening to the steady beeping of Oliver’s heart monitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little more set up before we really get rolling. No set update schedule, but I promise to give you chapters as soon as I can.


	3. The Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying put is not an option, but where can Team Arrow go? And how can they get there?

No one got much sleep that night. Felicity stubbornly stayed awake, wrestling with technology and the limited connections available in the hospital until she was able to get her cell phone connected. Immediately, she called Caitlin, ignoring the fact that her excited cheer had just woken Barry up.

“Hey, Caitlin, I have to ask a huge favor,” Felicity started. Barry flailed at her hand, trying to grab the phone.

“’s that Caitlin? Lemme talk to her,” he half whined, still sleepy. Felicity leaned away from him, still talking, glaring at Barry until he retreated. Caitlin pulled Dr. Wells into the conversation, which unfortunately made it even more emotionally draining. After the quickest, least detailed summary of recent events, Dr. Wells agreed to pull some strings to get a private plane and the necessary medical supplies en route to rescue them, with Caitlin on board to help. That, however, was followed by this.

“It would be in Oliver’s best interest to bring him to Star Labs,” Dr. Wells said.

“But he would never go along with that,” Felicity protested. “Starling City is Oliver’s home. That’s where he would want to be.”

“I’m well aware of that, Miss Smoak. However, we have the facilities to care for him, and we are very good at keeping secrets. He will be safer here while he recovers.”

“Oliver isn’t going to care about that-”

“Oliver cannot make this decision. It is up to you, as his friend, to do what’s best for him. And what’s best for him, until he has recovered, is that he come here.” Felicity scowled at the phone.

“Fine, you’re right.”

“I know this is difficult, Miss Smoak, but you are doing the right thing. I will contact you when we have a jet and an estimated time of arrival.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wells.” Once she hung up, Felicity groaned and leaned back in her chair, sliding down a little. “Well, we got what we needed, but our way out is a one way ticket to Central City.”

“It’s something,” Diggle agreed. “Once we get there, we can find a way back to Starling-”

“Or just stick it out in Central City until Oliver is better,” Barry interjected. “Dr. Wells made all the points I made, didn’t he? I mean, it’d be better for Oliver to just stay with us until he’s better. We can take care of Starling. It’ll be fine.” Diggle frowned and opened his mouth to protest.

“Compromise! We are compromising – Oliver stays in Central City until he’s awake and can make this choice, okay?” Felicity said over them. “That’s it. We’re taking this plane, we’re going to Central City, Oliver is going to wake up, and then he will decide where he wants to recover.” Both Barry and Diggle looked at her in surprise, then at each other, before silently agreeing not to argue with Felicity.

A few hours later, Caitlin called back with the information on the flight. As soon as that was settled, all that was left was to hunt down Oliver’s doctor.

“So O- Joe has some friends with money, and they’re going to fly him back home… we’ll have a doctor on the flight with us,” Barry explained. Displeased, the doctor tried to argue against him, but Barry stood his ground as they went back and forth. In the end, the doctor agreed to help arrange transport to the airport, provided they make a rather generous donation to the hospital on top of paying off Oliver’s bill. Felicity pulled that money from unknown sources (none of them likely belonging to Oliver Queen) while they waited for word from Caitlin.

With as antsy as Felicity and Barry were (and presumably Diggle, though he made no outward signs), the hours until the plane landed passed incredibly slowly. But finally, they got the phone call. The doctor gave Oliver another thorough once over, checked that the generous donation was in along with full payment, then gave them the okay. The transportation process was nerve-wracking, not because anything went remotely wrong, but because Felicity was so terrified that it would that she held Barry’s hand tight long after he lost circulation to his fingers.

“Oh my god, I am so glad to see you,” Felicity declared, voice almost cracking into a sob, when they arrived at the airport and saw Caitlin at the foot of the ramp into the plane. The two women embraced, with Caitlin offering words of comfort. Then Caitlin turned to Barry, hugging him too. When she pulled away, though, she glared at him.

“What’d I do?”

“Vanished? You took a phone call, then you just ran off! Left the suit behind, so we couldn’t use coms, no explanation, just gone! And now you’re half a world away, and Oliver Queen is half dead, and it turns out you were risking your life for him!” Barry tried to protest throughout her rant, but she just ran right over him. “Look, I get it, you wanted to help, but do you think you could tell your friends where you’re going next time you want to be a hero?”

“I’m sorry, Caitlin, I am. This was just… really important. I didn’t have time to waste,” Barry said sheepishly. Caitlin shook her head, but it seemed she accepted the apology, as she turned her attention to other matters.

“Alright, let’s get him loaded up.” She directed the nurses and helped wheel Oliver into the plane, where she switched him from the hospital’s machines to Star Lab tech, while skimming over his file and ensuring he had the right drip bags set up. Barry, Felicity, and Diggle filed into the open space of the small cargo plane. In no time at all, the nurses were packed up and gone, and the plane was ready to leave.

Take off was another terrifying experience, as Felicity and Caitlin watched Oliver for any signs that the machines weren’t working or the altitude changes were affecting him. Fortunately, all seemed quite well, and soon they were cruising back towards Central City.

“You all look exhausted,” Caitlin said sympathetically. “Get some sleep. I’ll watch Oliver.” Felicity started to protest, but was subdued by a raised eyebrow from Caitlin. Reluctantly, she laid down on the floor of the plane, intending use her backpack as a pillow and her jacket as a blanket. Unfortunately, the medical supplies and tech made the backpack extremely uncomfortable, and she quickly gave up, resigning herself to the floor. Seeing her distress, Barry laid down next to her, offering up his shoulder as a pillow.

“Hey, come on. You’ve been through the wringer the last few days and haven’t slept at all,” he told her gently, holding his arms out to her. She hesitated, then curled up against him, her cheek resting on his chest and her arm across his torso. He adjusted her coat over her before wrapping his arms loosely around her back, pointedly ignoring Caitlin’s eyes on them. He was just taking care of his friend.

They both fell asleep like that, under Diggle’s steadily sleepier watch and Caitlin’s knowing gaze.


	4. A Time for Rationality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because they made it back to Central City doesn't mean anything is back to normal.

Upon arrival in Central City, they were met immediately at the base of the ramp by Cisco and a Star Labs van. Cisco opened his mouth, presumably to ask for details, but at the sight of Oliver, still out cold, and the exhausted group, he just shut up and helped Caitlin get Oliver’s bed into the back of the van. It wasn’t built for five people plus a bed, but somehow everyone managed to find somewhere to sit. Space was tight in the back, though, so Felicity ended up sitting in Barry’s lap, squeezed next to Oliver.

Dr. Wells met them at the door, and while he couldn’t exactly do much to help get everyone out of the van, he gladly took the backpack from Felicity and led the way to the main lab. He and Caitlin set Oliver up, discussing the diagnoses given by the doctor and doing their own examination. Everyone else milled around awkwardly, waiting for someone to decide something.

“He should definitely stay sedated until his lung is a lot better,” Caitlin finally said, talking mostly to Felicity. She nodded in agreement. “But if we let him wake up right after that… is he going to take it easy? It’ll take at least six weeks before he’s ready to even try rehabilitating himself.”

“Oh god…” Felicity sank into a spinny chair. “He’s very bad at taking care of himself. He hurt his knee last year- or, well, Roy hurt him while he was on Mirakuru - that’s not important. Instead of taking it easy, he just shot his leg full of lidocaine.” Caitlin looked horrified. “You have to keep him sedated until he really can handle being up.”

“Yeah, after I saved his life that one time, he tried to strangle me,” Barry added. Now the horrified looks turned to him. “He was disoriented, but I mean… he had almost died and that was his first reaction.”

“We’re going to need a lot more sedatives than I have.”

“I can get them,” Diggle offered. “Just make me a list of what you need, and I’ll get it.” Caitlin crossed to her desk, scribbling out a list for him. “Alright. I’m going to get these, check on Roy and Lyla and Sara… will you all be okay without me for a day?”

“Yes, I think we can keep the city together for one night, Mr. Diggle,” Dr. Wells said with his standard half smile.

“It’s fine, Dig, I’ll be here. I’ll watch him.” Felicity rolled her chair to Oliver’s side. Diggle squeezed her shoulder in support before heading out. Cisco made some vague attempts to engage anyone in anything that wasn’t staring at Oliver with concern, but he could only manage to get Barry or Caitlin to take him up – and never both at once. Finally he just gave up.

“Why don’t we agree to take shifts?” Caitlin suggested after a very somber dinner of delivery pizza. “Cisco and I can stay and watch him tonight, so you can go get some sleep.”

“That’s a great idea,” Barry said over Felicity, as she started to protest, grabbing her arm and trying to pull her gently out of her chair. “Come on, Felicity. He’s not going anywhere. You need the rest.” She stared at Oliver’s far too still form for a minute before slowly standing.

“If anything changes at all, better or… you call me,” she demanded. Caitlin agreed immediately. As Barry steered Felicity out of the room, Barry mouthed “thank you” at Caitlin over Felicity’s head.

“I’d offer to just run us back, but I’m as tired as you are, so I guess we should catch a cab,” Barry said as they hit the main street.

“Two cabs, unless you can run yourself back… I should probably just get one of those extended stay hotel rooms-”

“Felicity, no, you can stay at my place. Come on.” Apparently, she was in a very argumentative mood, because Barry had to defend the idea. “Saves you money… looks less suspicious, if anybody’s checking on your location trying to find Oliver… ummm… there’s food there?”

“Now you’re just grasping at straws.” But she smiled a little. “Alright, your place.” They hailed a cab and Barry gave the driver his address. “I hope your couch is comfy, cause I could sleep for days…”

“Like I’m going to make you take the couch. I’ll sleep on the couch, you can have my bed.” The rest of the cab ride was spent arguing back and forth, neither of them gaining any ground given that they were both exhausted. They bickered all the way into Barry’s apartment, where Felicity got her first view of the couch they were arguing over.

“Okay, there is no way you are sleeping comfortably on that.”

“Well, I have before!” Felicity glared up at him.

“You don’t even fit on that couch.”

“Well, no, not really, but-”

“We’re sharing your bed.” She started to march away, then realized she wasn’t actually sure where Barry’s bedroom was in relation to everything else and shot him a demanding look. He showed her the way even as he countered her.

“Felicity, I don’t want to make things awkward or anything-”

“It won’t be. You sleep on your side, I’ll sleep on the other side, it’ll be like we’re little kids having a sleepover. We’re just two friends, sharing a bed because neither of them are going to sleep on the couch because we don’t hate ourselves that much.” She did a little spin, looking around his room and past the hall, at the tiny bathroom. “It’ll be fine, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Barry conceded, going to his closet for pajamas. “Oh, um…” He rifled around and offered her a pair of sweatpants and one of his several Star Labs sweatshirts. “This might make things a little more comfortable for you…”

“Thanks.” Felicity smiled at him and took the clothes. “I’m gonna just go change. In the bathroom. Over there...” Once the bathroom door shut, Barry let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Sharing a bed – his bed – with Felicity, who he very much still had a crush on? Who was distraught over her friend - possibly boyfriend - being half dead, perhaps seeking comfort? Yeah, no way this was possibly going to go wrong.

Felicity knocked on the doorframe before coming back in, apparently just in case he was still changing. Which he wasn’t; he had just cheated a little in remaking his bed faster than should be possible… which was practically his motto. If Felicity noticed, she didn’t comment on it.

“Which side should I take?” she asked, shifting nervously and rubbing her thumb on her fingertips.

“Oh, um… I usually sleep on the left side?”

“I usually sleep on the right side. That’s perfect.” Felicity stopped herself there, opting to just get into bed. Barry took a deep breath before turning off the lights and climbing into bed himself. As they settled in, Felicity added, “Hey Barry? Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course. I’m always here for you… and Oliver.”

“I really appreciate it.” Felicity rolled away from him after that, and they both drifted off.

Only for Barry to jolt out of his light doze barely fifteen minutes later. Felicity was on the far edge of the bed, curled away from him, clearly trying to muffle her crying. Barry rolled over, trying to be as obvious as possible about reaching out to touch her shoulder. She still jumped.

“Hey… I was going to ask if you’re okay, but it’s really obvious you’re not, so, um… is there anything I can do?” he asked, looking at her with concern.

“Make Oliver better? And tell him to stop doing this to me?” She let out a teary laugh, earning her a smile from Barry.

“I’ll do my best once we let him wake up, promise. Anything more immediate? Cup of tea… if I have any… um, box of tissues? Um…”

“Can you just… hold me?” she asked, sniffling again and moving towards him.

“Yeah, of course.” He held his arms out to her. She slid over, putting her head on his chest and hugging him tight.

“Thank you,” she whispered, getting comfortable.

“Sure.” Oh, he was screwed now. This was not what was supposed to happen. She was probably going to regret this in the morning, and things would get all awkward between them again. And if Oliver knew- Oliver would kill him. He would shoot him again, except this time he’d actually kill him, and then he would go to the special hell for this.

But Felicity had stopped crying and seemed to be very comfortable, already falling asleep, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like holding her.

One way ticket to the special hell, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay... there will definitely be a delay on the next few, because work has kicked my butt these last few days. But hopefully more coming soon! Many, many thanks to everyone who's reading this! 
> 
> And yes, now that 3.10 and 1.10 are out, we are blatantly ignoring them. Because reasons.


	5. A Day Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the chaos, Barry had forgotten something. Or, rather, someone.

All the sleep Barry and Felicity had gotten since Oliver was injured had been uncomfortable, interrupted, and not very satisfying. That night, sleeping in each other’s arms, was easily the best sleep either of them had had in days, until an alarm on Barry’s phone woke them both up out of a deep, restful sleep, at far too early in the morning. He reached out with one arm to try to shut it up without dislodging Felicity; she was still using him as a pillow, but she had curled closer to him as well, the entire length of her body pressed against his. He took too long to find his phone, and Felicity woke up all the way, rolling away from him. He missed her immediately, which was a very bad sign. Special hell, remember, special hell.

Felicity got out of bed, turning on the light and giving Barry a sneak peak of her with bedhead and her adorable sleepy shuffle. Oh god, not adorable, just… He whacked himself in the forehead with his phone, trying to beat the thoughts out of his head. He was in love with Iris. This with Felicity… he was just comforting a friend! Who he had a crush on. And was going to get over. Because the man she loved was seriously wounded and going to wake up eventually and could kill him if he hurt her. So he was going to get over this.

“Are you getting up? I’m making coffee,” Felicity said, shuffling out of the bathroom and to the kitchen, checking her phone as she went.

“Coffee. Awesome.” Barry hit himself in the head once more for good measure before following her out. Felicity was sitting on the single spot of counter space she could find, watching the coffee machine brew. “You know, I’ve heard they work faster when you don’t watch them,” he teased.

“Oh, and I suppose you have the science to back that up, huh?”

“No, just hearsay. They’re all slow to me.” He grinned shamelessly and she laughed. “I know it’s not great, but… you can borrow whatever clothes you want. I mean, they’ll all be kinda big…”

“I’ll stick it out in these until Diggle comes back. I asked him to bring me some of mine when he comes back today. Thanks.” They fell into a comfortable silence while the coffee finished brewing. As soon as it was done, Barry moved, and before Felicity could blink, she had a mug of coffee in her hands. Barry raised his own in a toast, and she smiled, taking a sip. Once caffeinated, Barry got dressed quickly, and they headed back to Star Labs.

“How is he?” Felicity said as a greeting. Caitlin looked up from her book.

“He’s stable. No change from yesterday.” She smiled and closed the book. “I really think you’re going to have a boring day of watching him sleep.” She got up and checked the drip bags. “If you have to change these… is that okay?”

“Yes. This is sadly not the first time the very unqualified me has had to play nurse for Oliver.” A pause. “That came out wrong, everything about that sentence was wrong. Pretend I just said yes.”

“I’ll leave you instructions,” Caitlin said with a smile. She went to her desk, casually grabbing Barry’s arm and dragging him with her. “I saw that,” she informed him under her breath.

“Saw what?”

“The way you just looked at her.” Barry glanced at Felicity; she was sitting by Oliver, her hand just brushing his. When he looked back at Caitlin, she gave him a knowing look.

“I didn’t do anything!” She rolled her eyes and finished scribbling out notes.

“You did, and you know it. Don’t pretend you don’t like her.” Barry tried to respond, but Caitlin walked away to hand the note to Felicity. Then she headed home to get some sleep, leaving Barry and Felicity alone with Oliver. Dr. Wells was somewhere in the building, having relieved Cisco earlier in the morning, but he seemed to be giving them space. 

Barry pretended to do stuff. He pretended to do some research, pretended to clean things up, anything to keep him up and away from the elephant in the room. But even not using super speed, there was only so long a person could pretend to do work before it was ridiculous. Okay, he was going to sit next to Felicity, and it wouldn’t be weird at all-

His phone rang, making him jump. When he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen, he groaned and answered it.

“Hey Iris,” he said with guilt, wincing at what he suspected was coming.

“Where the hell have you been? I tried calling you a dozen times, I left you voicemails, and still nothing!”

“I know, I’m sorry, I am… something… came up…”

“Well, can you talk about it? Can we talk?”

“Yes, absolutely, I definitely can talk.”

“Now?”

“Um…” He looked to Felicity, torn. She smiled that soft, slightly bitter smile she’d given him before, the smile that was both sad and knowing all at once.

“Go. We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, now’s fine. I can be there in a minute?”

“Okay, good.” Barry hung up and was about to run out, when something else occurred to him.

“Shit. I didn’t call out of work or tell Joe or-”

“Go. Talk to Iris. I’ll figure out something to get you out of that.” Felicity pushed herself over to the computers.

“You are a lifesaver. Thank you.”

“Back at you,” she said with a smile, firing the monitors up. Barry ran out, making it to the coffee shop in a few literal seconds. He waved to Iris as he walked in. Belatedly, he realized this was a terrible idea that he was unprepared for. The last proper conversation they’d had was the one where he spilled his guts to her. And then he’d just disappeared, not answered his phone… boy was he in trouble.

Sure enough, as soon as she saw him, Iris put down what she was doing, marched over, grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him up to the roof. His protests fell on deaf ears. The instant the door shut, Iris spun Barry around to face her, eyes flashing.

“Explain. Now.”

“I…” He had not thought this through. What was the cover story for this? The best lie was the one closest to the truth, right, so… “You remember Felicity and Oliver- of course you do. Well, um, Felicity called because they were having an emergency that they needed another set of hands and my brain for, and right after I got to Starling, something fried my phone, and it took Felicity until yesterday to get it working again, and I didn’t see any notifications about your messages…” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I really am sorry, Iris.”

“You better be.” She slapped his arm, then smiled. “Everything okay over there now?”

“Um… it should be?” he lied. Again.

“Good.” The smile fell off her face, and Iris looked up at him with a solemn expression. “Look, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he replied, taking a deep breath. But before he could say anything, she dove right in.

“Barry, I… I’m glad you felt like you could tell me how you feel. But… I don’t know what you were hoping for. I’m with Eddie, and I really like him, and I’m moving in with him. I’m happy with Eddie.”

“I know, Iris, and I want you to be happy. I really do. I wasn’t…” He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, I was kind of hoping for you to break up with him to be with me, but… that’s not what I actually thought you’d do, and it’s okay that you didn’t. I want you to be happy. It’s okay if that’s not with me. I meant what I said – I am happy for you two.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you like this, Barry-” She reached out to him, but he shrugged and stepped back.

“It was kind of inevitable. It’s what I get for putting my heart on the line, right?” He gave her a small, rueful smile that she echoed. “I’ll be fine eventually. I think I might just need a little bit of space.”

“I can give you that. But let’s not do the not talking thing again, okay? Not that much space.”

“No, definitely not. You’re still my best friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, another chapter! I'm going to have a lot more free time now, so provided the ideas keep coming this easily and my beta reader can keep up, hopefully there will be a lot more in the future!
> 
> I also realized that I warned this for violence, and right now... not so much. There will be violence. Eventually. And maybe even some of the canon events, just handled differently. 
> 
> Also also, Anberlin fans will recognize the song "A Day Late" which, as I'm writing them anyway, is the Barry and Iris theme song.


	6. Tell Your Heart Heads Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flies by, and change comes with it. Some of it anticipated, some of it unexpected, but mostly just appreciated.

When he returned, Felicity was exactly where Barry had left her, still typing away at the computer. He set a to-go cup of coffee in front of her by way of greeting. She smiled and picked it up in both hands, though she didn’t drink any just yet.

“So, Captain Singh thinks you have a really bad case of food poisoning… my official doctor’s note was very convincing.” Barry looked pained. “I know, I know, terrible excuse, but it was all I could think of! Also, I’m updating the facial recognition software and a few other things… kind of a thank you present.”

“No, thank you. I’m sure Cisco will refuse to leave this room once you let him play with it.”

“That’s the goal!” Felicity sipped her coffee, swinging lightly back and forth in her chair. “So. How did it go with Iris?”

“Um. Well… about as well as I could hope, I guess. I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to her anymore, between the Flash and telling her how I feel and now this…” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “I think I need to go for a run, get my head back in order.” He was grateful that she didn’t point out that he’d just had a run; instead, she just went back to her work while he walked to the treadmill.

Once he was up and running, he thought hard about this situation. He could be open and honest with Felicity in a way he couldn’t anymore with Iris. Maybe the secrets he couldn’t tell were killing them more than the one he did. He knew, deep down, that he needed to just get over Iris, move on, but being in love with her had been a part of him for so long… And he didn’t want to have a rebound girl, that wouldn’t be fair to Felicity- Why was he thinking of that already? They were just friends, they weren’t going down that road…

He glanced out the window at where she was working. They had said no to the road because of Iris and Oliver. But Iris was out of the picture, and Oliver… well, that was a bridge to consider crossing when he could speak for himself. Felicity looked up and into the treadmill room, smiling at the blur on the treadmill. His heart skipped a beat, and his foot missed a step.

Barry flew backwards, flung into the padded wall by the treadmill. Felicity was already at his side by the time his vision cleared.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” She grabbed his arm and helped him sit up. He rubbed his head.

“I’m fine. Some bruises to my back and my pride, but nothing serious.” He smiled at her; she let out a relieved laugh. “Just got distracted.”

“You should probably take it easy for a little while, you dummy.” She helped him to his feet and guided him back into the main room. She showed him the new software and was duly impressed by how quickly he picked it up – and he only cheated a little bit, since she caught on to that immediately. Then they worked together to change some of the drip bags and medications, as per Caitlin’s instructions. Cisco showed up (with lunch) shortly thereafter, with what he declared was the best timing in the world.

Diggle returned later that afternoon, along with Caitlin, and the gathered team agreed on a plan of action. Barry and Felicity would be up most nights with Oliver, since it was possible they’d both be needed for something in Central City or Starling. Caitlin and Diggle or Roy would take the nights that were quiet enough for them to sleep. Cisco and Dr. Wells were in charge of food, caffeine, and supply acquisition for everyone. Barring a complete disaster (as seemed to happen so often these days), someone would be with Oliver at all times. Just in case.

Of course, the whole food poisoning excuse could only last so long, and Barry had to start splitting his daytimes between his real job and this one. Likewise, Diggle and Roy started swapping off, as Diggle had Sara and Lyla to consider – and Lyla couldn’t know about this either. The number of lies being told just continued to grow on all sides. Felicity lied to Ray about a sick grandmother and compromised by working from Star Labs.

About a week after their return, Caitlin ran a full diagnostic again, while Felicity, Barry, Roy, Cisco, and Dr. Wells watched. Roy kept texting, distracting everyone from the other distractions they were engaging in.

“Dude, who are you texting?” Cisco finally asked.

“Thea.” Roy sighed, and Felicity winced; she had her suspicions about what was coming next. “She’s really starting to freak out. She’s thinking about going to the police to file a missing person report. Malcolm didn’t get her any answers-”

“You talked to Malcolm?!” Felicity interrupted.

“Sort of… he talked at me while I tried to get a clear shot at him. He found the sword that Ra’s stabbed Oliver with, but since there wasn’t a body… I didn’t tell him anything, don’t worry!” Roy held his hands up innocently. Felicity just groaned.

“Exactly what we needed right now: Malcolm Merlyn sticking his evil nose into this.”

“I think you could use some good news right now,” Caitlin said, having just finished her tests. Everyone’s attention turned to her. “As long as he keeps healing like this, I think we can bring him off the sedatives in a day or two. Slowly, just in case, but he could be awake and starting to recover properly in a few days.”

“That’s great!” Barry said; Felicity was too busy hugging Caitlin to say anything particularly constructive. “We should probably be all hands on deck for that, though, in case he tries to get up right away,” he suggested.

“We’ll make sure of it,” Caitlin agreed. “The last thing we need is a setback. He’s already got a long road ahead of him .” Despite that warning, the mood in the lab lifted considerably. When Roy offered to take that night’s watch, along with Caitlin, for once, Felicity accepted the offer without argument. Shortly before dinnertime, Barry insisted that they go out and get actual food for once, since they’d both been eating far too much takeout recently.

They ended up at an Italian place near his apartment, and with the good news still fresh on their minds, they actually had a good time. Felicity opened up, telling him funny (often embarrassing) stories, and laughing good-naturedly at the stories he shared in return. Really, walking back to his apartment, with Felicity bumping into his arm and laughing as he told her about the first couple of times he tested out his speed, was probably the best he’d felt in a few weeks. And judging by the fact that Felicity hadn’t stopped smiling since they started talking, the same seemed to be true for her.

In the apartment, it was decided by unanimous vote that Felicity’s idea of movie night was the way to go. Somehow, she ended up picking the movie, and it was some romcom that Barry had never seen (and wasn’t sure he wanted to see again). Towards the end, though, Felicity started the quiet sniffles that Barry had learned meant she was crying and trying not to show it.

“It’s a happy ending,” he said, confused, even as he handed her a box of tissues and offered her a hug. She giggled through her tears, gladly leaning into him while she wiped the tears away.

“Happy tears, dummy. I know it’s happy, and I’m happy for them, but maybe I just want a little happy ending for me too, you know?” Barry pulled her close, nodding.

“Yeah, I know how that feels. Seems like we just can’t quite win, no matter what we do. Save the city, lose our friends. Save our friends, lose them anyway…”

“But we’re still here. You and me. And Caitlin and Cisco and Roy and Dig and Dr. Wells and even Oliver’s kind of here… not here-here, but here…” She took a deep breath to go on rambling. But before she could, and before Barry had thought it through properly, he leaned in and kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titles are hard. So I just browsed my music till something hit me. "Tell Your Heart Heads Up" is a fabulous song by MUTEMATH.
> 
> Sorry these last two took so dang long. I've got the next two chapters rolling right along, so stay tuned! Many, many thanks to everyone who's reading and left kudos!


	7. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the mood in Central City is light and everyone can joke around. This is not one of those times.

For half a second, neither of them moved, both processing what had just happened. Barry had just started to pull back when Felicity moved into him, dropping the tissues to wrap her arms around his neck, kissing him back. He smiled against her lips, which she took as an invitation, squirming her way into his lap. He went along with it for a second before thinking better of it.

“Hey,” he said, pulling back.

“Hey,” she answered, confusion obvious both in her eyes and her voice.

“We should talk. Before we get in too deep. It’s just-”

“If you’re going to give me the ‘I don’t want to put you in danger so we can’t be together’ speech, save your breath. I’ve heard it already, and it’s bullshit, and I’m not having it. I’m already in this on my own, and it won’t put me in any more danger,” Felicity interrupted, glaring at him. He held his hands up innocently.

“I wasn’t going to say anything like that at all! It’s just that you know, we looked down the road and said no for what were very good reasons. But now I don’t have reasons anymore, and… I’d like to find out what’s down that road. I just want to make sure that you want to go down the road with me, and there’s not going to be reasons holding you back or anything. I didn’t want to just assume.”

“You’re so sweet,” she said, kissing him softly. “What I said before, my… reasons… haven’t exactly changed, but… I’m tired of waiting for Oliver. I’m tired of the dangling maybes and how he says he can’t be himself and the Arrow, then turns around and tells me he loves me. I can’t keep waiting around for him to make up his mind. I deserve more, and I want to try going down this road with you.”

“Awesome. I mean, kinda stings a little, knowing that’s my competition, but… it feels pretty good, being the one you picked.” He closed his eyes and kissed her again, missing the slightly odd look on Felicity’s face in response before it was replaced by something much happier. She quickly forgot it, investing herself in an exploratory make out session. They shifted on the couch, ending up with her straddling him while he laid at an angle, feet hanging off the edge. Once again, Barry was the one to pull away.

“Are we doing this all a little backwards? I haven’t even asked you out yet, and now we’re… here…” Felicity brushed her hair back behind her ear with a smile.

“You already asked me out once, last year…. well, sort of. And it doesn’t really matter to me, but do you want to go out on a date with me?” He grinned up at her.

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“Alright, now that that’s settled, are you going to finish what you started here?” She laid across his chest, kissing him softly to start.

They spent the better part of the night on the couch, exploring each other slowly, gently, until they decided it was bedtime. For the first time, it was an obvious unspoken agreement that they’d cuddle up together, though Barry still had to chase some guilt away before he could relax completely.

When the pair walked into Star Labs in the morning, Caitlin gave them both funny looks - the kind Barry knew a little too well, and he purposefully avoided her as they switched out the guard. Roy was completely distracted by the conversation he was having with Thea, and though he promised to sleep on the train back, everyone strongly doubted it would happen.

The next two days passed relatively peacefully. Barry continued to evade Caitlin, though he had his suspicions that she’d talked to Felicity. They went for coffee and when they came back, Felicity seemed a little brighter and Caitlin gave him another significant look. He tried to decipher what it meant; was this the look of “I thought you loved Iris” or “are you sure about this” or “Oliver is going to kill you when he wakes up and I don’t want that to happen” or something else altogether? Regardless, he wasn’t going to ask.

After another thorough checkup, Caitlin decided it was safe to let Oliver wake up finally. “I’m going to wean him off the sedatives slowly, so hopefully he won’t react badly when he does wake up.” She left instructions for Felicity to reduce the amount of sedative he was given overnight, and the following day, they’d bring him off completely - once Roy came in from Starling.

Felicity and Barry didn’t talk much that night, watching Oliver rest. They were both preoccupied with thoughts, some on similar topics, some not so much. That didn’t stop them from getting comfy on the cot that had been set up next to Oliver’s bed for whoever was on night watch.

The combined Team Arrow and Team Flash regrouped in the morning. Caitlin took the lead.

“I’m going to take away the drip bag with the sedatives. He’s already working them out of his system, so once they’re mostly out, he’ll wake up. He needs to stay in bed, though. His lung is still healing, and his cracked ribs and vertebrae are fragile. His arm and leg are both healing well and in casts, so I’m more worried about him hitting himself with the casts than anything else. If he tries to get up at all, hold him down.” The assembled group exchanged looks, and by unspoken agreement took up their positions: Diggle pulled up a chair by his uninjured arm, while Barry settled in next to the arm in a cast; Roy took his broken leg and Cisco stationed himself by the remaining limb. Then Caitlin pulled the drip bag, and everyone watched and waited.

Somewhere in the middle of yet another game of Clue, in which Caitlin and Felicity moved all the pieces while everyone held their own cards, Oliver took a deep breath, which came back out as a weak cough. Immediately after, he woke up, arms flailing and legs thrashing. Everyone jumped into action, Clue cards flying everywhere as they moved to restrain him. Diggle and Barry pinned his arms down, while Roy and Cisco tried to hold his legs down (Roy had far greater success). Felicity ducked between Barry and the bed to cup Oliver’s face in her hands.

“Hey, hey! Stop fighting, just stay still, we’re trying to help you.” Oliver froze, looking up at her in confusion. “Oliver. You’re still recovering. You need to stay still.” He weighed her words silently, apparently running a mental check of his body. He finally relaxed, and the four men let go of him.

“What… what happened?” Oliver asked, voice scratchy and hoarse from lack of use. Barry zoomed off and reappeared a second later with a glass of water. Oliver took it, using his still shaky good hand to drink. Felicity sat on the edge of the bed, resting one hand on his chest, just above his heart.

“You remember… going off to fight Ra’s Al Ghul?” Oliver nodded. “He… he stabbed you, Oliver. And kicked you off a cliff. We thought you were going to die,” she said, her voice breaking. Barry subtly took her other hand, squeezing. “But Barry rescued you, and we got you out of there, and Caitlin’s been taking care of you while you heal.”

“So this is…” He looked up at the ceiling.

“Star Labs, yes. We couldn’t take care of you like this at the Foundry,” she filled in. Oliver nodded briefly. “But we’re all here. Diggle and Roy have been taking turns, and I’ve been here almost all the time, and when I’m not, Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco have been. You’re going to be okay.”

“I believe you,” he said quietly, eyes glued to her face. “How long do I have to stay here?”

“You should definitely stay in bed until your lung and vertebrae are a little better, but as soon as they are, we’ll work on getting you up,” Caitlin cut in. Oliver nodded again, but didn’t look away from Felicity.

“And once you’re up and mobile, we can take you back to Starling City. Back home.” It was meant to be reassuring, but it clearly wasn’t; Oliver’s heart rate monitor spiked. Felicity leaned forward, her hand sliding up his chest; she looked him over quickly, trying to figure out the source of pain.

“Home. How is- what have I missed? How long has it been? Is Thea okay?” No one answered right away; Felicity sat back again, and Oliver’s eyes flicked from her to everyone else gathered around in turn.

“It’s been ten days since the duel. Everything’s been fine in Starling. Roy and I’ve been picking off small time crime and keeping an eye on it all,” Diggle finally said. Oliver nodded his approval, then turned his gaze to Roy.

“Thea’s… she’s… she’s freaking out. About you.” Roy just spit it all out, cringing.

“You didn’t tell her?” Oliver turned his accusing glare from Roy to Felicity, who immediately fell on the defensive.

“She would have told Malcolm! Malcolm Merlyn, you remember, the guy who framed her and sent you to your death? She’s already asked him for help to find you. If he knew - if anyone knew - word might get back to Ra’s, and then… so we haven’t told anyone, Oliver. Not while you weren’t awake to make this call.”

“What call?”

“Who to tell. Whether we’re pretending you made it back just fine… or if we’re pretending you died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the wait... hold on to your pants, there may be more long waits in the future as I'm roadtripping in a week and we'll see how much I manage to get you before then! Fear not, I'm writing a lot and getting places. 
> 
> As with before, still ignoring literally everything after 3.09 and 1.09, though I may borrow elements from later episodes (only the good elements). 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's reading, left kudos, commented, and bookmarked this! You all are awesome.


	8. Heavier Things Remain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even heroes have their insecurities and flaws. Dealing with Oliver while he's awake proves to be more challenging than while he's asleep.

“I have to tell Thea,” Oliver insisted immediately. “I can’t do this to her again.”

“If you tell her, we won’t be able to pretend you’re dead at all. She’ll tell Malcolm, and who knows what he’ll do then… he thinks you died. What if somehow he tells the League?” Felicity argued.

“Thea already lost me once. I am all she has.” Oliver gave her his usual ‘I have made my decision and you cannot talk me out of it’ face. But she glared sternly down at him and went on.

“She thinks she has Malcolm. And unless you’re going to tell her everything – about being the Arrow, about the League, about Sara, about what Malcolm has done – she’s going to keep confiding in him. Honestly, even if you do tell her, there’s still a chance she’ll go to him, and then you’re going to have to be alive. Ra’s will know - I don’t know how, but he’s been on to everything in Starling, and he’ll know you didn’t die, and then what will happen? What if he comes for you again? What if he sends more assassins? You can’t even stand up right now, Oliver, how are we supposed to protect everyone?” She gestured to the full combined Team Arrow and Team Flash. “We could barely handle Slade and his Mirakuru soldiers, and Slade was going crazy.”

“Felicity’s right, man,” Diggle said, crossing his arms. “If the League comes back to Starling while you’re still down, there’s no way we can save the city. Even if you’re up… Ra’s thought he killed you once. He’s not going to make the same mistake twice. I think we need to let everyone think you’re dead. And that includes Thea.”

“That’s not your decision to make,” Oliver countered.

“Which is why we didn’t make it while you were still out,” Felicity pointed out, starting to get rather annoyed. “Oliver, you need to think about what’s really going to be best… not just for you and Thea, but for everyone - for the rest of us and for the city you’re trying to protect.”

“Your death does not have to be any more permanent this time around than it was five years ago,” Dr. Wells suggested. Most everyone jumped, not having realized he was even in the room, and both Diggle and Roy reached for weapons out of habit. It didn’t faze Dr. Wells in the slightest; he drove forward and parked so that he could look Oliver in the eyes, with his hands folded in front of him. “I’m sure that Miss Smoak could easily fake a foreign death certificate, including failure to retrieve remains, that would hold up in court for now but easily be discredited at such a time as it was safe for you to return to life.”

“And then what? What am I supposed to do if I’m dead?” Oliver shot Felicity a look, silently asking her if they were really going to listen to – and trust – the eternally shady Dr. Wells. Her look in return was unamused.

“Initially, recover. I believe Dr. Snow predicted a six to eight week recovery period, followed by a lengthy rehabilitation process. After that, you could resume work as the Arrow – perhaps, in the meantime, someone else should wear the suit from time to time so that those who do not already know that you are the Arrow do not begin to speculate that you might be. While you recover in secret, we can all put our minds to the serious problems of Ra’s Al Ghul and Malcolm Merlyn,” Dr. Wells explained.

“Months of hiding out in the Foundry, months that my sister thinks I’ve left her again, months before we can do anything,” Oliver complained.

“Do you have a better plan?” Felicity snapped, crossing her arms. “One that doesn’t get you and everyone else killed?” That shut him up – first, as he tried to think of one, and then it turned to resigned silence as he knew he didn’t have anything else. “Okay, then we’re going with Dr. Wells’ plan.” Felicity hopped off the bed and walked over to her computer to start “officially” faking Oliver’s death.

“This is going to kill Thea,” Oliver said quietly, looking for Roy.

“I’ll look out for her,” he promised. “I’m headed back tomorrow...I’ll take care of her.” Oliver nodded, apparently satisfied with that. Barry shuffled over to Caitlin, who had just been messing with the drip bags.

“He seems a little… too amiable,” he whispered.

“I took him off the sedatives, but upped the painkillers. He’s pretty high right now,” she answered with a small smile. Barry bit his lip to stop himself from grinning. “I figured that since we were done with the serious conversation, he could probably stand a little distance from the world.”

“Good call.”

“Is this going to make things weird between you and Felicity now-”

“Nope. Not having this conversation,” Barry interrupted, walking away.

“Barry!” she hissed, but he pretended not to hear her. He lurked instead over Felicity’s shoulder, watching her work on the elaborate forgery. A strange sort of quiet fell over Star Labs then. Roy and Diggle stood in a corner discussing Starling City’s safety in hushed tones; Caitlin checked the pleasantly drugged Oliver’s vitals again, then started drafting a rehab plan. Cisco played with some new tech while Dr. Wells disappeared once more to do who knew what, periodically motoring by the door and checking in on everyone. Barry helped Felicity with the death certificate, all while very much in her personal space.

After about two hours of this, he looked up for a moment to uncross his eyes and noticed that Oliver was staring at him. And at Felicity, he supposed, since they were together- oh. Right. Barry flushed and looked down again, preferring his swimming vision to the disapproving (and possibly hurt) look from the other man. Once she had what general consensus agreed was a believable but vague enough death certificate, a plan was made to get it to a certain police captain and proceed from there.

“Tomorrow. We’ll do that tomorrow. After Roy and Diggle make it back to Starling, and after- after we all have a chance to prepare for it,” she decided. After Cisco and Caitlin left, she seemed to be prepared to sit there all night with Oliver yet again. Barry wasn’t sure if he should suggest going back to his place or not. On the one hand, he really wanted to, and he figured it would probably be good for Felicity. On the other, Oliver had just woken up. What if they wanted to talk?

“We’ll stay here tonight,” Diggle told Felicity. “We should make some plans before me and Roy go back.” She nodded.

“Good idea. We’ll finish this up in the morning?”

“Go get some sleep. We’ve got him,” Roy said, gesturing to Oliver. Felicity smiled at him and gathered up her bag and coat. She walked out, Barry hot on her heels; as soon as they were out of sight and headed for the exit proper, she grabbed his hand.

“Do you want to get dinner or something?” he offered.

“Can we just go home- back to your place?” She looked straight ahead, but her voice wobbled.

“Yeah, of course we can, absolutely- do you want to run there?” He looked at her with concern. She nodded, turning slightly towards him, arms open. He picked her up bridal style; she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder before he took off. As he tried to open his apartment door without dropping Felicity, he also looked her over to make sure her clothes hadn’t caught fire. Again. Thankfully, that hadn’t happened, and he managed to get the door open. He kicked it shut behind them, carrying her straight to his bed.

“Hey, it’s okay, just you and me now,” he said gently, sitting down and trying to set her down next to him. She refused to let go of him, but half slid out of his lap.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to go,” she informed his shoulder, voice muffled by his shirt. “Everything is wrong.”

“That seems a little- I mean, he’s awake, and we have a plan, so… everything’s going to be okay.” He meant it to be reassuring, but it came out as a question. She sniffled, clearly trying to hold back her tears.

“But it’s not. We have to pretend he’s dead and- and he’s right, what is that going to do to Thea? Or to Laurel?” She paused. “Oh my god, he doesn’t even have that many friends outside of us and them.” Now there was no stopping her from crying, but she kept talking through the sobs. “It’s going to crush them both, and there’s just no way around it, but it’s not fair. It’s not fair to them, it’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to us, not at all.

“And Malcolm- it’s all his fault, but I don’t even know how we can take him down. Oliver already killed him once and that worked obviously so well... I mean, what are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, Felicity.” Barry held her close, rubbing her back soothingly. “I wish I had answers for you, but I don’t. I just know that we’ll figure this out. Together. All of us. Even when Team Arrow heads back to Starling City, we’ve got your back. I can be there in a- in a flash, I mean it, I can be there whenever you need me. Or whenever you want me. If you do.” Felicity picked her head up and looked at him with a confused frown.

“Of course I want you to come. I want you. What- what are you making that sad face for?” Barry sighed and kissed her cheek softly.

“Look, I know there’s still lot of unresolved… things… between you and Oliver, and I don’t want to get in the way of whatever you two have. I guess I got used to this with you and me without any complications. But I get it, I know you two have history and-” Felicity silenced him with a kiss.

“You lovable dummy. I’m not going to dump you to throw myself on him just because he said he loved me before he went and tried to get himself killed. I like being with you. Everything that’s unresolved with Oliver… we’ll figure it out. But it’s not going to get in the way of this, okay?” She looked up at him; he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Is it okay if I’m insanely relieved to hear you say that?”

“Of course.”

“I was afraid- I didn’t want to be second choice to Oliver Queen. Again.”

“You aren’t- again?”

“Iris said he’s on her ‘three list’?. I didn’t even know what that was, but I guess she can cheat on Eddie with him.” Felicity laughed breathlessly.

“I can’t say I blame her, but she’ll be waiting a long time for that chance. If it helps, I don’t have a list. I just like having you.”

“That helps a lot.” Barry leaned back, smiling faintly at her. “I thought I was comforting you.”

“Who says we can’t comfort each other?” She laid her head on his shoulder again. “It’s been a really hard day.”

“It has.”

“I just want to sleep and hope tomorrow will be better.”

“I’m sure it will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay on this - I moved across the country over the weekend and have been insanely busy with that. But I have three more chapters written, so as soon as I can nag my editor to look them over, I'll get them up and running. Bear with me, lovely readers. 
> 
> As before, I'm ignoring all of the episodes that have aired, but I will be using some of the plot points. The good ones, that is.


	9. Velvet Covered Brick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea already lost Oliver once; now she's lost him again. She just didn't know it yet.

The only way in which the next day was any better than its predecessor was the decreased population getting in the way at Star Labs. Diggle and Roy returned to Starling City – to Verdant, specifically, to await the inevitable. Once they told Felicity that they’d arrived, she got the documents ready to send to the police. She had taken all sorts of measures to keep the impending phone call and email untraceable. Voice modulator in place, Cisco was the one to make the call.

He read from a script they had collectively devised that sounded just the right amount of vague and broken. All the while, he cringed at Captain Lance’s responses. On his cue, Felicity sent the email with the forged death certificate. There was a long silence on both ends of the line as Lance looked over the email. A few short sentences later, Cisco hung up.

“That was horrible. I am never doing that again,” he declared, returning the phone to Felicity.

“Thank you,” she said with a sympathetic smile. “My guess is that he’ll go tell Thea himself… I don’t know if that will make this better or worse, though...” She trailed off and looked up at Oliver. He was pointedly staring at a wall, jaw clenched shut.

Things in Starling City hadn’t been much better, all things considered, as the anticipation slowly built throughout the morning. Diggle escaped the worst of it, excusing himself to the Foundry as Thea arrived, given that there wasn’t much reason for him to be at Verdant with Oliver gone. That left Roy to work alongside Thea by himself, and while she was thankfully too caught up in her own worries to notice, he couldn’t help the concerned looks he shot her at almost every opportunity, or the way he kept one eye nervously on the door the whole time.

The front doors opened while they were in the process of restocking behind the bar. Roy tried so hard to look like he had no idea what was coming, but even the most clueless of people could tell bad news was coming, given how somber the officers were and the presence of Captain Lance himself.

“Captain Lance! Do you have any news about Oliver?” Thea rounded the bar, seemingly (and possibly willingly) oblivious, to face him. The cops took their hats off out of respect.

“Thea. I’m so sorry-” He started. She immediately started shaking her head.

“No. No. You’re not- You’re wrong. No, you have to be wrong.” It looked like this was killing Lance almost as much as it was killing Thea. Roy slid out from behind the bar, stepping up within Thea’s reach.

“I’m sorry. We got the death certificate this morning. It’s really- I’m sorry, but Oliver… is dead.” Captain Lance had to talk progressively louder, over her continued protests. When he finished, she clapped her hands over her mouth with a sob.

“No, you’re wrong! You have to be wrong!” she shouted at him. “He wouldn’t do this to me again! He wouldn’t- he wouldn’t do- not again, he wouldn’t…” Roy took a half step forward, gently touching her shoulder. She instinctively turned into him, crying into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back in an effort to comfort her.

“How… how sure are you?” Roy asked quietly. Thea turned to look at Captain Lance, still leaning on Roy.

“Fairly sure. I talked to an ambassador this morning, who sent over the official death certificate,” Lance told him. “Foreign stuff, not as thorough, but… it holds up.”

“Where- where is he? Where was he? Where, where-” Thea trailed off with a sob.

“From what they can tell, he was apparently climbing in the Andes with a friend. But with weather conditions… they weren’t able to recover his body,” Captain Lance answered. Roy shook his head and held Thea tight. She sobbed silently into his chest, his shirt balled up in her fists. “Thea, I’m sorry for your loss. If- if there’s anything we can do for you, you know where to find me.” With that, Captain Lance and the two officers left the club.

“I’m so sorry, Thea,” Roy murmured, rubbing her back. That earned an audible sob.

“This can’t be happening,” she moaned when she finally had the breath to do so.

“Why don’t we get you home,” he suggested, steering her towards the door. It wasn’t until she almost tripped, as a fresh wave of tears hit, that Roy realized that taking her back to the apartment she had shared with her (now dead) brother was probably not the wisest of plans. Still, it seemed preferable to trying to comfort her in the middle of what had been his club. Amazingly, Thea didn’t even seem to notice, let alone protest, having Diggle drive the two of them back to her place. Roy half carried Thea up the stairs into the building and was very grateful that they could take an elevator up to the actual apartment. At the door, Thea just thrust her purse at him; he rifled through it to find her keys.

“I stole your purse once, remember?” he said casually as he pulled them out. “Then you got me arrested.”

“Because you stole my purse, you asshole,” she choked out, a tiny giggle making its way through the tears. “And I started dating you after that, so I’m pretty sure you can let that go.”

“You’re right. I definitely got the better end of the deal.” He shot her a brief grin as he escorted her to the couch. “I’ll be right back.” He locked the door, hung her keys up, got her a glass of water and a box of tissues, and turned off her phone before returning; the last thing this day needed was Malcolm calling her. “Okay, here’s water, tissues… is there anything else I can get you?” Thea started to shake her head, but stopped midmotion. She seemed to be holding her breath and another sob.

“Can you- I know it’s- but- Oliver’s shirt,” she said in broken sobs. Roy nodded and took the stairs in threes, darting into Oliver’s room. He grabbed one of the button downs out of his laundry as well as a throw blanket from the bed. Thea looked so small with her knees pulled up to her chest, Roy thought as he vaulted back down the stairs. Wordlessly, he offered her the shirt and draped the blanket around her. She buried her face in the shirt, inhaling shaky breaths through it that came out as heartbroken cries.

“I can stay… if you want me,” he offered. At her nod, he shrugged out of his hoodie and settled onto the couch next to her. She tipped over in his direction, leaning her shoulder into his side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her, not even trying to speak. What kind of words could possibly comfort someone who had lost the only family they had left – for the second time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chapters keep coming, slowly but surely! Hope you're all enjoying the ride. Thank you to everyone who's reading!
> 
> Title is from the Anberlin song of the same name, for these lines: "And here's a velvet covered brick / Death comes to us all too quick"


	10. Conspiracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight years ago, the headlines about Oliver Queen's death looked a little bit different. This time around, a new group of people care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! We're starting to go places, and I hope you're all enjoying it!

If the police had been trying to keep Oliver’s death under wraps, they did a very poor job of it. Within two hours of Cisco’s phone call to Detective Lance, the first news of it had hit the internet, and from there, it snowballed. Soon, every mainstream news outlet was putting their own spin on the news. The death of a former billionaire playboy who had had so much media attention in recent years was a distraction from real news stories. The problems with this didn’t occur to anyone at Star Labs, including Barry, until Joe called him down from the lab at work to watch the news with him and the rest of the precinct.

“What’s going… on…” Barry trailed off as he walked into the room, stopping next to Joe and staring at the TV as a report eulogized Oliver.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Joe asked under his breath.

“Um. Yeah, I guess there is.” They both ducked out into the lobby; everyone else was crowded into the office, leaving them surprisingly alone. Barry rubbed the back of his neck. “Oliver… well…”

“You knew he was dead? And you didn’t say anything?” Joe studied him with a frown. “He’s not actually dead, is he.”

“No, no, he’s… you remember when I had food poisoning?” Joe nodded. “I didn’t have food poisoning. I was helping Felicity save Oliver’s life.”

“What happened to him?”

“It’s a long story, but the short version is that he kind of got stabbed and kicked off a cliff.” Joe started, eyes wide; Barry rushed to reassure him. “He’s okay now. Well, not okay, but healing. Caitlin’s taking care of him. He’ll be fine.”

“Good, good… what does this mean for, you know, the Arrow? And Starling City?”

“We’re taking care of it. There’s- Arsenal, his… partner, I guess? And Mr. Diggle, and Felicity… and me.”

“You?”

“When- if things get really bad, I can be there in forty-five minutes, so I’m going to do what I can to help.”

“Barry… you’ve already got your hands full with work and the metahuman problem here. I don’t want you spreading yourself too thin.”

“I know, and I appreciate that, but I can handle this. And somebody has to. There’s some really bad stuff going on in Starling, which is why we have to pretend he’s dead in the first place. They need me, really.” Joe smiled affectionately.

“Of course they do. But you really need to work on your excuses for missing work.” Barry groaned.

“God, I know.” Joe headed back in, leaning on his desk next to Eddie. Barry would have joined them if his phone hadn’t buzzed at just that moment. It was a text from Iris: are you watching the news? Since no one was paying attention, Barry sped away, arriving at Jitters moments later. This time, when he waved to Iris, she came outside to meet him.

“Did you see the news?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, forcing his face into the right look of grief. After all, as far as Iris knew, Oliver was his friend, and just like everyone else, she had to believe he was dead. “I just saw. I can’t believe it. Well, I mean, I guess I can, it’s not the first time Oliver’s done something like this, but for him to actually die-” Iris cut off his rambling with a rib squeezing hug.

“I’m so sorry. I know you were friends,” she whispered. Barry hugged her back, nodding slightly.

“Yeah… or something. I mean, we weren’t exactly close, but… he was a good guy, you know? You do know.” Iris looked up at him. “It’s just… surreal,” he decided was the right word.

“I’m sure. I’m sorry, Barry.” She paused. “Have you talked to Felicity?”

“Oh, yeah-” As soon as he said the words, he realized his mistake. Iris took a step back and looked at him funny, and he hurried to correct himself. “She called me right before I saw the first thing on the news. She’s a mess, I mean, he was her friend and her boss and I don’t know what else but it’s such a shock.”

“Oh, god, that’s… just horrible. I can’t even imagine… I’m going to get her something, like, some chocolate or a teddy bear or something. Do you have her address?” Think fast Allen, come on.

“Yeah, I do, but actually, if you want to give them to me, I’m going to go see her tomorrow… you know, offer support, shoulder to cry on, all that.”

“Really? You can just drop work like that?”

“Joe’s cool with it, and it’s not like I can’t be back here pretty quickly if they really need me… Felicity needs me more right now.” A slow smile spread across Iris’s face.

“Good. I mean… good that you’re going. I’m sure she could use a friend right now.”

“Exactly.” Barry rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly; all these lies piling up made it really difficult to have a conversation anymore. “I kind of promised Joe I’d put in some extra hours today, make sure everything was really wrapped up before I go, so, um… can I get some coffee for the road?”

After work, Barry and Felicity sat on his couch and watched some TV. Well, Barry sat on the couch – Felicity sat on his lap. And they did make an attempt at watching TV, but neither of them had any idea what was actually on as they were a bit preoccupied with each other. Felicity had worked Barry’s shirt most of the way up his chest, but wouldn’t stop kissing him long enough to actually take it off. Barry found that a little unfair, so he took his sweet time exploring under her shirt.

When there was a knock at the door, they were both suddenly grateful they hadn’t gone any further than they already had. Felicity sat back with a sigh, letting Barry up. Or down, as the case was – he squirmed out from under her and promptly rolled off the couch onto the floor. He staggered to his feet and tripped his way over to the door while Felicity sat back and giggled into her hands at him.

“Pull your shirt down!” she whispered loudly, gesturing at him. He froze, hand on the doorknob, and quickly adjusted his shirt. With a cheeky grin and a quick thumbs up, he turned back to the door and opened it.

“Oh, hey Iris!” Barry leaned on the doorframe, trying to look casual, all while keeping the door partially shut so she couldn’t see Felicity. “Um, what’s up?”

“I got this for Felicity,” Iris replied, handing him a mug full of chocolate candies, with a small teddy bear wrapped around it in a hug. “I wanted to bring it by in case you were leaving in the morning.”

“Hey, that’s great, thanks! Yeah, that helps a lot, don’t want to miss the train…” He grinned sheepishly, and a brief awkward silence followed.

“Are you okay? You look kind of… flustered.”

“Oh yeah, fine, just running around trying to pack. I can’t find any of the clothes I wanted to take, it’s an absolute mess in here,” Barry babbled. Iris giggled at him.

“You are going to be just fine. And on time for once, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good, I’m sure Felicity really needs you. You’re such a good friend.” Barry smiled for a second, but he knew what that tone of voice meant.

“Iris… what are you saying?” She held her hands up innocently.

“I’m not saying anything… yet.” Barry crossed his arms (a gesture that felt a lot less formidable given the teddy bear and mug in one hand) and raised his eyebrows. “Okay, come on, you know that you two are adorable. I know you know. And this is so not the best time, but you really are so perfect for each other… I’m just saying, maybe not now, but in the future? Think about it. You two would be adorable together.”

“Thank you, Iris,” he groaned, his ears turning red. “I really don’t need your help with my love life right now, and like you said, it’s not really a good time for anybody. I’m just going there as her friend.”

“I know, I know. But that doesn’t mean that’s all you ever have to be.”

“Last time I started with ‘friend’ it didn’t exactly work out,” he said, only realizing how terrible that sentence was after it was out of his mouth. Iris blinked and stepped back, and Barry groaned again. “God, I’m sorry, that was awful. Just punch me now, make me stop talking.”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes,” she said with a small smile, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

“I know... Really, though. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Go, pack, and tell me how Felicity’s doing once you get there.”

“Thanks Iris.” He waved to her as she walked away. Then he shut the door, leaning against it, and took a deep breath. “Oh my god. Why does this keep happening?”

“What, people interrupting you while you make out with someone?” Felicity asked, making a grabbing gesture at him. He slumped back to the couch, handing her the mug and flopping down next to her.

“God no, not that. Just… the lying to Iris. It starts with one that I have to say – Oliver’s dead – and then it blows up into this giant thing that I can’t get out of.” He quickly recounted the conversation he’d had at Jitters earlier that day.

“Ah, so that explains the mug. And the chocolate.” Felicity unwrapped one for herself. “Well, what else were you going to do? She can’t know about Oliver, and it doesn’t make sense to be honest with her about us when that’s going on.”

“I know. And it’s not that I don’t really like this, because I do, but I want to tell somebody, and Iris… she’s who I would usually talk to.” He leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Felicity hummed and nodded, handing him a chocolate.

“I understand. But she’s not who you can tell right now, so… what about Cisco or Caitlin?”

“Cisco’ll be supportive but… Caitlin’s going to judge.” Barry sighed and ate his chocolate. Felicity shook her head, put the mug down, and curled into his side.

“Maybe a little, but she’s your friend. I think she’ll come around.”

“Yeah, after she makes faces and tells me all the things I’m doing wrong.” He turned to look at her. “I just want to be able to talk to Iris again. But now everything’s complicated and… I can’t even tell her the truth about anything.”

“Someday, you will. About us, at least. And when that happens, it’ll be okay. One day at a time, alright?” She squirmed into his lap again, drawing his attention away from the fascinating spots on the ceiling. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”


	11. Undeveloped Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing gets by the Star Labs team, particularly not when it's happening right in front of their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay! My beta reader and I both had some minor health shenanigans in the past week, on top of busy life events, but hopefully there won't be a delay like that again. I hope. Fingers crossed. Have a lighter chapter to make up for all that!

Barry spent the next day hiding out at Star Labs until a metahuman crisis demanded his attention. The better part of the next two days was filled with metahuman hunting, puzzling over their new ability, and trying not to let anyone die as they worked to contain them. While Felicity found it easy to fit into Team Flash’s battle plan, Oliver became increasingly frustrated and restless. He contributed ideas, but metahumans were a little beyond him, and he couldn’t even contribute his primary skill. Everyone breathed a little easier when Barry caught the metahuman and dragged her down to the dungeon.

Cisco and Caitlin met him with congratulations – and an agenda clearly on their minds. They walked in amicable silence for a few seconds before Barry sighed and gave in.

“What.” He looked to Caitlin first. She bit her lip, glanced at Cisco for support, then went for it.

“You and Felicity. Don’t deny it, and don’t run away from us. Just talk to us. How long have you two been together?”

“A little while, since right before Oliver woke up… are we really that obvious?”

“Wait, you guys are together? Like, together together?” Cisco stopped walking to stare at Barry; Caitlin and Barry stopped and turned to face him.

“Thank you. I didn’t think we were being that bad.” Caitlin shook her head disapprovingly, but before she could talk, Cisco barreled on.

“Have you thought about how fast you’re going? Not the running, the relationship. Cause there’s fast, and then there’s fast… you know what I’m saying?” Cisco looked to Caitlin for support.

“He’s right. With your increased blood flow and heart rate, theoretically, your speed could-”

“Whoa, okay, we are not talking about this!” Barry interrupted. “We don’t need to talk about this! I think I know what I’m doing.” He glared at Cisco, daring the other man to try cracking a joke.

“You’re going to need to think about a lot of dead puppies,” he said nonetheless.

“I hate to say it, but he has a point. I mean, I don’t exactly want to hear about your sex life either, but it’s something you have to consider. Especially since this is not just about you, but Felicity as well,” Caitlin said, pursing her lips thoughtfully.

“Look, guys, I already got the sex talk from Joe once, I really don’t need to hear it again. I’ll be careful! We’ll figure it out! Besides, it’s not like Felicity doesn’t know what’s going on.” Barry started backing away, trying to cut the conversation off by literally running away from it. However, Cisco and Caitlin just moved with him.

“Yeah, Felicity does… at least with you. What’s the deal with her and Oliver?” Cisco asked, both out of curiosity and to save Barry from the conversation he didn’t want to have. Not that the new one was much better.

“I… I don’t know, exactly. I guess there’s some feelings, some ‘dangling maybes,’ unresolved stuff… You’d be better off asking Felicity.”

“But we’re asking you.”

“I don’t know, Caitlin! Look, Oliver and Felicity’s relationship is their business. They’ll figure it out when they’re ready. And while we’re at it, mine and Felicity’s relationship is our business. Not yours.”

“So, what, you’re just not going to tell Oliver anything? Let him find out on his own?”

“Not exactly. I’m going to let Felicity talk to Oliver – and so should you. It’s their relationship. Not yours.”

“Barry-”

“Look, the Arrow- Oliver Queen strikes me as the kind of person to hold grudges. If I tell him, he’s going to shoot me. Again. Not now, but the instant he has that bow in his hand, he will shoot me, and he won’t hold back this time. Contrary to your beliefs, I actually don’t have a death wish!”

“Which is why you’re sleeping with his girlfriend,” Cisco added, nodding slowly. Barry turned an “et tu, Brutus” look on him.

“But I’m not! I’m not sleeping with Felicity – and she’s not his girlfriend! Can you both just… stop?!”

“Fine.” Caitlin walked past him, head held high and high heels clicking rapidly. “And I won’t tell Oliver, but only because I don’t want you dead.” Barry sighed exasperatedly and ran one gloved hand through his hair.

“Dude. I look forward to watching you dig yourself out of this hole. Or further into it,” Cisco said.

“Thank you. Very encouraging.” The men trailed after her, heading back into the main lab. A slightly strained silence went with them. Caitlin was checking up on Oliver again, asking him the standard questions, while Felicity did who knows what on her computer. Dr. Wells was once again nowhere to be seen. Once Barry got out of his suit, Cisco hung it up and set about cleaning it almost reverently; Barry sat down next to Felicity, alternating who he was watching.

“You’re healing up quite well,” Caitlin informed Oliver.

“Well enough to get out of this bed?” he asked quietly. She pursed her lips.

“Not on your own, though I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to be in a wheelchair… provided you don’t overdo it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” From her desk, Felicity snorted loudly, drawing everyone’s attention.

“What, did I do that out loud?” She looked straight at Oliver. “Overdoing it is your middle name. I mean, if it wasn’t already Jonas.” Cisco covered his mouth with one hand to hide his grin. Barry spun around in his chair, openly smirking.

“I won’t. I promise.” The words might have been directed at Caitlin, but Oliver looked at Felicity the whole time. Barry spun back around, not wanting see it.

“Okay, we’ll find a wheelchair for you and get you out of that bed tomorrow.” Caitlin patted his arm.

“Thank you, Caitlin.”


	12. Stall Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver usually avoids talking about his problems by putting on his hood. But without a hood to put on, perhaps a new approach is in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay (again). Yeesh. Just hit a few speedbumps in the writing thing, but hopefully it'll just keep rolling on. This fic continues to live in a land of denial about canon.

The next day, Caitlin turned a newly acquired wheelchair over to Cisco, who retrofitted it with a very small motor. While she disconnected Oliver from his assorted monitors and double checked his bandages and casts, Cisco explained the system.

“It’s got a one hand remote control, but it’s just taped to the arm, so try not to knock it off. And the motor should be about as powerful as a Roomba, since that’s what I stole it from, but the modifications I made so it can handle moving your weight might make it unpredictable or too strong, so just… don’t do anything that will make Caitlin hurt me too.” Oliver smiled faintly.

“Thank you, Cisco. I will be on my best behavior.” Felicity snorted, having overheard that, but refrained from commenting. With the wheels locked and the motor safely off, Barry and Cisco helped Oliver slide out of bed and into the wheelchair. Cisco then tinkered with the rig, made sure Oliver could use it and it all worked, then backed away.

“I think I’d like a little… rolling tour of Star Labs,” Oliver decided. “Barry, would you mind?” The intense, piercing look Oliver gave Barry made the simple request seem far more like a demand.

“No, absolutely, let’s go!” he said, not really having to fake his enthusiasm too much. Barry led the way, and as it turned out, Cisco’s caution was rather unnecessary. As they moved further from the main lab, Barry babbled information at Oliver, while he just tried to coax every last drop of speed out of the tiny motor. He could barely keep up if Barry was walking casually. When he got a little over excited, Oliver was left literally in the dust, following the eager voice as it drew away from him.

“And this lab… I actually don’t know what this lab is for,” Barry was saying as Oliver caught up to him again. Barry peered in the darkened window, talking into it. “It’s all dark and looks like it’s partially destroyed, partially cleaned out, so I guess it’s just an empty lab. Well, next one-”

“Barry.” Oliver kept his voice low, even though there was no chance of being overheard. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” Barry turned to face Oliver, putting his hands in his pockets. Oliver looked up at him, hating this height disadvantage. Even though he knew the younger man was taller than him anyway, it was only an inch, and he was still able to feel like he had the superior standing next to him.

“I wanted to thank you again for saving me… and ask why.”

“You’re my friend,” Barry replied with a small frown. “Or my ally or mentor or something like that. I wasn’t about to let you die out there. So when Felicity called, I came running. Literally.”

“Felicity called you,” Oliver confirmed.

“Yeah. She was the mastermind of the whole ‘save Oliver Queen’ project, start to finish. I mean, I would have come even if she hadn’t had the plan, but it was a really good plan.”

“It worked well. You and Felicity seem… close.” Oliver studied Barry carefully and didn’t miss the way he bit his lip for a second, or how his ears turned pink.

“Yeah. We really hit it off last year, you know, and we stayed in touch… well, other than the coma thing, so really, Felicity stayed in touch until I was awake… and she works really well with Team Flash… it’s great having her around. I mean, it’s great having both of you around,” he hurried to correct himself, “but I think Felicity’s having a little more fun here right now than you are.” Oliver smiled faintly.

“You’re not wrong. She’s doing okay?” Barry looked at him quizzically. Oliver explained, “She’s not really talking to me right now.”

“Oh, yeah, she kinda told me what happened before… you left. I think she’s still processing, but she’ll come around! She’s talking to us, telling stories about Arrow cases in exchange for metahuman stories… all part of the healing process, I guess?”

“Sure. It’s not like her to be quiet if she has something to say, so when she’s ready, I’ll know.”

“Definitely.”

“I just want her to be happy… and safe.” Oliver fixed Barry with another piercing look; Barry wasn’t sure if Oliver knew, but he had a feeling Oliver had his suspicions.

“And she will be… as safe as you can be when you work with the Arrow, I guess. She told us about the skydiving, and the illegal casino, and the Dollmaker… and Slade, and the Count… wow, she really gets into a lot of trouble with you.” Barry immediately looked horrified and opened his mouth to take it back, but Oliver smiled again.

“I guess it’s one of the hazards of vigilantism. Still. I’m glad she has you, Caitlin, and Cisco. I hope you’re able to continue being there for her when we return to Starling City.” Barry blinked; the thought hadn’t occurred to him in a while.

“Yeah, absolutely, I’m sure we will be! But I mean, that’s a long way off still… Caitlin’s not going to let you go before she’s sure you’re ready.”

“And as frustrated as I am, I’m sure I will thank her for that later. She’s very prepared and quick.”

“She has to be. I heal so fast, I can heal wrong if she doesn’t move fast enough.”

“That must be stressful. I’m glad she can keep up.”

“Me too!” Barry let out a little laugh.

“If only I could keep up with you.” Oliver pushed the controller to full throttle and his wheelchair puttered forward. “This thing is like a snail. I don’t know how Dr. Wells does it.”

“His has a lot more power, and he’s pretty used to it by now,” Barry said with a grin, falling in step with the chair. “I think the limits are intentional. I’d offer to help, but I think it would end with increased bed rest for you, two very angry women beating me up, and no more wheelchair to use.”

“I’ll pass,” Oliver agreed. They continued on the long, slow tour, eventually making their way back to the main lab. From there, a holding pattern developed. Oliver got along well enough with Caitlin and Barry, and after spending an entire afternoon testing modifications to the wheelchair, Cisco and Oliver settled into an odd friendship. However, he seemed to be avoiding Felicity, and she seemed to be tiptoeing around him as well.

Diggle came to visit one day; he and Oliver ended up huddled in a corner over a tablet, discussing the latest information on Malcolm Merlyn and the situation in Starling City. Right before Diggle left, he talked to Oliver very quietly about how Thea was holding up, then told Felicity something that made her jump in shock. They both immediately looked at Oliver, who somehow missed it, to their relief.

“Ohhh this is turning into such a mess,” Felicity muttered after Diggle finally left.

“What is?” Barry asked, leaning over Felicity’s shoulder to look at her screen.

“Starling City in general. There’s some guy trying to take over the Glades… again… I’m staying here tonight to help Diggle and Roy deal with it.”

“Do they need some help?”

“They’ve got- You know, that actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“I’ll suit up and catch a ride with Diggle.” Barry grinned and darted off. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, absently chewing on a pen while staring blankly at one of the monitors. Oliver waited until everyone was definitely gone for the night to wheel over to Felicity’s desk.

“Hey,” he said quietly. She jumped and dropped the pen on the keyboard.

“Oliver. I don’t know how you can still sneak up on people with that thing.”

“It’s a talent,” he replied with a smile. “How are you?” She seemed surprised by the question.

“I’m fine.”

“Felicity.”

“Okay, not entirely fine, but getting there. I mean, how was I supposed to be fine, with watching you almost die and everything, but now you’re recovering, and I actually really like working with Team Flash.” Oliver made a face at that phrase, but Felicity ignored him. “This has kind of turned into the world’s most stressful vacation, but it’s not entirely unenjoyable.”

“That’s good.”

“How are you doing?” Felicity spun her chair to face him more directly, crossing her legs and tapping her pen against her lips. Oliver hesitated, just enjoying the sight of her for a minute.

“Fine.” She raised an eyebrow skeptically. “I can’t remember the last time I was this incapacitated, and I don’t like it. But if I keep thinking about it, it just makes it worse. At least I’m up, more or less. And recovering.” He clenched his fist around the cast both in frustration and to demonstrate that he was better than before. Felicity smiled.

“You’ll be back to jumping off rooftops and putting the fear of, well, you into bad guys in no time at all.”

“I hope so.” He rubbed his thumb against his fingertips for a moment, weighing the next sentence in his head carefully. She waited patiently, typing a few lines of code while he watched. “You haven’t been staying in Star Labs this whole time, have you?”

“Oh, no, I’ve been staying with Barry since we got here,” Felicity replied absently, absorbed in a sudden change in the program she was working on. She missed the flash of jealousy and heartbreak that crossed Oliver’s face. “Much better than staying in a hotel or anything. We aren’t all made of money anymore.”

“Right. Makes sense.” He forced the words out. While she hadn’t said as much, Oliver knew what was really going on. “I’m going for a… I’ll be back.” He wheeled himself out of the main lab and down a hallway, mind going much faster than the chair. Of course. He had been potentially on his death bed, Felicity had been upset, and Barry had seen his opportunity. He could build on the thing they had from last year, and being a superhero now wouldn’t hurt his chances either. He probably moved in so smoothly and Felicity got caught up in him, and now- Now she’s lost to Oliver.

Yes, he’d said they couldn’t be together while he was the Arrow, but right now, he couldn’t be the Arrow. And maybe they could have made it work. After his heartfelt confession, he’d thought that if he could come back from the duel, they could be together. But in the meantime, he’d lost his love and his light to another man. And a good man at that. As young and rash as Barry could be, he had a good heart. If Felicity was going to be with anyone, well… Barry was definitely the best choice.

Logic didn’t make it hurt any less.


	13. Cold Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near death events have a funny way of shaking things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm picking and choosing how much of the canon I'm keeping and how much I'm ignoring, but it's safe to say that if you haven't watched the show, there's going to be events that you don't quite follow. 
> 
> Many, many thanks to everyone who's reading and leaving kudos and comments and bookmarking this! I love you all, and I hope you like this!

Another week passed in the same holding pattern. Oliver kept himself squarely in the middle of all city saving procedures, but out of most other conversations. He ran away – or rather, wheeled away – from any kind of vaguely personal question and made excuses to avoid talking to Barry or Felicity, and in particular the two of them at the same time. Since Felicity wasn’t doing anything about it, no one else did; despite them not talking to each other where anyone else could see, everyone accepted Felicity as the authority on what to do with Oliver Queen.

Until the night that Leonard Snart resurfaced with a new friend – another career criminal, Mick Rory - who he had armed with the fiery equivalent of Snart’s own cold gun. The danger of that weapon had Team Flash desperately trying to come up with solutions that would keep Barry safe, all while knowing he had to get out there and stop them as soon as possible. Cisco armed the police force with brand new, super tough shields, but that wasn’t an option that would work for Barry.

And then it was too late.

After some unknown meeting with someone, Caitlin vanished. Her car was found with signs of supercooled ice on the door, and before Joe had even processed the paperwork, Snart and Rory broadcast their message – the Flash must turn himself over to them, or Caitlin gets it. And “it” wasn’t going to be pleasant. Cisco and Joe set off to save Caitlin, with help from Felicity back at Star Labs, while Barry took the bait.

“Their guns are opposites. You can short them out by having Captain Cold and Heat Wave fire at each other… you know, cross the streams,” Cisco had informed Barry before leaving. Which was helpful information, but out on the street, facing down the terribly confident villains, Barry wasn’t sure how to get them to do it. He darted all around, trying at first to minimize the damage they did to the surrounding area while trying to engineer the right ray-canceling situation, but trying to do so many things at once meant none of them worked. A building and a car were on fire, while another several cars and one unfortunate fire hydrant were frozen.

“I don’t think this is working!” he informed Dr. Wells, Felicity, and Oliver. In the split second he paused to reevaluate his strategy, Heat Wave turned his gun on Barry. Before he could get out of the way, a brave cop threw himself in front of Barry, shield up and deflecting the flames. Barry blurred his face just in time to lock eyes with Eddie Thawne. “Thank you,” he said, distorting his voice. As soon as the flames stopped, Barry sped Eddie back to the cop line, then drew Snart and Rory’s attention once again.

The faster he went, the more damage the rogues did to everything around them. But the slower he went, the longer he was able to hold their attention. I can’t believe I’m going to do this, he thought, stopping dead still in the street. The rogues trained their guns on him and fired. With the cold freezing him on the right and the flames licking at his suit on the left, he moved forward as fast as he could without losing them. They remained oblivious, happily trying to destroy him with their guns, until they were firing straight at each other and Barry sped away. He hesitated just long enough to see that both men had been knocked on their asses by the destruction of their weapons and cops had swarmed them immediately, then sped back to Star Labs.

“Please tell me Caitlin is here,” Barry groaned, limping into the main lab. Caitlin jumped into action, shaking off the shock blanket she’d been wrapped up in, while Felicity met Barry at the door and helped him hobble to Caitlin’s examination table.

“Oh my god, we have to get you out of that suit!” Felicity started unzipping it before they’d even stopped moving. He winced and helped her. The left half of the suit was totally fine, as it was meant to be fireproof. The right side, however, was frozen to his body in spots. Felicity and Caitlin worked with Barry – and then over Barry, while he just tried to bear the pain – to peel the suit off him. Once he was sitting on the table in nothing but his boxers and t-shirt, Caitlin started treating the frostbite. First, she dealt with the severe case across his cheek, where the suit didn’t cover his skin. Then she moved to his ribs, where the gun had been pointed the whole time, and worked her way out.

“There. You should be good as new in an hour,” she finally declared, stepping back and peeling her gloves off.

“Thanks, Caitlin. Are-” He was interrupted by Felicity throwing herself in his lap, hugging him tight, and kissing him.

“Don’t do that to me again!” she lectured him when she pulled away. “I thought you were going to get yourself killed, and that is so not okay with me!”

“I had to do it, Felicity, I couldn’t think of any other way to cross the streams… I’m sorry?” He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.

“I know. I know… you just really scared me.” The fire left her, and she leaned against him, pressing light kisses to the left side of his face.

“I’m sorry. Hazard of the job.” He winced at the horrible implications of that statement, then again when he hugged her tighter and his whole left side screamed in protest. But now that she was apparently settled down… “Are you okay, Caitlin?”

“A little shaken up, but Cisco and Joe saved me,” she said, smiling faintly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good.”

“Ew. I just got used to not having to see Ronnie and Caitlin doing that in the lab,” Cisco informed Barry as he walked past. “I thought you two were keeping this on the down low.”

“We… were…” Barry said slowly. Felicity leaned back, a look of horror and shame growing on her face. They both turned to find Oliver – only to realize he wasn’t even there.

“Oh god,” Felicity mumbled, pulling herself out of Barry’s arms and sliding to the floor. “I’m going to go talk to him.” She set off, trying to figure out where in the world he might be hiding. After checking almost every nook and cranny she thought he could get into, she finally found Oliver sitting in the tunnel leading into the reactor. “Oliver.”

He flinched and curled in on himself (as much as he could, given how bulky his cast was). Felicity bit her lip and waited, afraid to push him too much. After a moment, he straightened up and spun the wheelchair to face her. They stared at each other, then Oliver broke the silence: “So. You and Barry.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re… together,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. Oliver gave her a small nod.

“And… you’re happy?”

“I am. We are.” She would have babbled her way out of the situation, but in a strange turn of events, he spoke next.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” He ignored the controls in favor of grabbing the wheels and rolling himself down the ramp and past her.

“Oliver-”

“I’m happy for you,” he said, though neither of them believed it. Felicity jogged after him, falling in step as he rolled forward.

“Oliver, I know this wasn’t the best way to tell you, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. But you kept doing the thing where you tell me you love me but you don’t want to be with me, and… things aren’t complicated like that with Barry.”

“Good. You deserve someone like him. He’s a good… man.” Oliver tripped over the last word, drawing a smile out of Felicity.

“He is. And I’m not… I’m not going to leave Team Arrow for Team Flash or anything. When you’re ready to go home, we’ll all go. Back to Starling, back to the Arrow Cave, back to saving the city.”

“Good.” He paused. “We’re still not calling it that.”


	14. Wherever This Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People never schedule their criminal plans around the availability of vigilantes and superheroes who can stop them, which makes saving the city all kinds of complicated.

After the conversation with Felicity, Oliver reverted to his strange alter ego Mr. Queen, diplomatic CEO and polite dinner guest, who became a strange presence in the heart of Team Flash. To help alleviate the tension, Felicity returned to Starling City. She said it was because she was needed back at work, but everyone knew better. She returned on the weekends, mostly just to see Barry, and was only a phone call or video message away in case of emergency.

The next crisis in Central City involved a former employee of Dr. Wells who had created destructive, potentially lethal sonic technology. Around the same time, however, the street war in the Glades took a new turn; one slum lord, Daniel Brickwell, started taking control. He put fear into the residents of the Glades while keeping the police beaten down and out of his way. Team Arrow struggled to keep up with him without their namesake. 

“This is not working!” Oliver threw his recently acquired crutch across the lab, forcing him to hobble to a table for balance. “I need to get out there!”

“Oliver, you’re almost fully healed; just a little longer and we can take the casts off and you can begin rehabilitation,” Caitlin tried to reason with him. Oliver turned a furious glare on her, making her recoil.

“Enough!” Felicity burst into the room, surprising everyone. “You need to sit down before you fall down, listen to Caitlin, and take your time. We have this handled!” She was about to round on him, either to yell some more, talk him down, and/or hopefully talk sense into him, when a red blur zoomed into her.

“Hey! I didn’t think you were coming here tonight!”

“Surprise visit – I didn’t feel like Skyping in on the important medical conversation. Besides, it’s been a while since I took an afternoon off.”

“Hey, awesome.” He grinned for all of a second before she punched him lightly in the shoulder.

“You owe me an explanation! Your texts were vague but when I asked Caitlin, she said you almost died.” Felicity glared up at him. Barry looked helplessly at Caitlin, who shrugged with an apologetic smile. Today was just “get on the superheroes’ bad side” for her.

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t, which is what’s important right now…” he reasoned, a little sheepish.

“You remember the part where I said you weren’t allowed to do that to me?” She poked him in the chest for emphasis. 

“Yes…”

“Good. Now, start talking.” He gave her the quick version of events with Hartley Rathaway. Oliver returned somewhere towards the end of the recap, apparently in a much calmer frame of mind. Cisco was hot on his heels with several boxes of pizza.

“Alright, dinner and plan making time!” he said cheerfully, dropping the boxes on Caitlin’s desk. “Where’s Dr. Wells?”

“We really don’t need him here for this,” Oliver said calmly, easing himself into his wheelchair. Everyone else got a plate, took a seat, and created a loose circle to discuss.

“I want to do one more set of x-rays and scans before I take off your casts for good, but I honestly think we can send you home in a week or two,” Caitlin said to start the meeting off. “However, you’ll need to start doing physical therapy, and unless we can find someone who you trust to be silent about it…”

“I’d rather you talk me through it,” Oliver requested. “We do have internet in the Foundry. And Starling is only a train ride away.”

“Or 45 minutes,” Barry interjected with a grin. The older man didn’t look at him, but merely inclined his head to accept the offer. Caitlin didn’t look so sure.

“That could be arranged,” she agreed anyway. “Are you planning to… live in the Foundry? I think you’ll find stairs are going to be a challenge for a little longer.”

“I can’t exactly go home,” he replied quietly. “Thea still can’t know.”

“Home,” Felicity said, having an epiphany. “Better than the Foundry: Queen mansion. It’s the last place anyone will be looking for you. Thea’s moved out, but it’s technically hers, and she won’t go back there. Or she probably won’t, and if she does, there’s enough of us around to intercept her.”

“That could work,” Oliver agreed.

“When I go home tomorrow, I’ll have Dig set things up for you. Improved security system, internet, clothes, food… all the important stuff.”

“Thank you, Felicity.”

“You’re welcome.” They shared a small smile, an echo of the ones they used to have before everything went south.

“In the meantime…” Caitlin interrupted their moment to move the conversation along to more pressing issues – like how Hartley was teasing them with information about Ronnie. Dr. Wells rolled into the conversation shortly thereafter and was the logical sounding board for all of Cisco’s wilder theories. Caitlin had been doing some research of her own and thought that perhaps they should try to bring Ronnie in. However, no one was quite sure how to go about that at this moment, and the memory of him telling her not to look for him anymore was fresh in everyone’s minds. 

After dinner, Felicity pulled Barry aside in the treadmill room, much to his confusion. She shushed him and whispered, “I don’t want Oliver to hear this right now.”

“What is it?” Once they were in the other room and Oliver was clearly not coming after them, she explained.

“All that trouble with Brickwell recently? We’re afraid he’s going to make a move sometime soon. Roy and Sin have been hearing things in the Glades.” Felicity bit her lip. “Is there any way you can take a few days off? Roy and Laurel mostly have things covered-”

“Laurel?”

“Did I forget to tell you? Sorry. Laurel’s wearing Sara’s, well, everything. She’s training with Roy and Dig and this other guy, he used to be a vigilante before Oliver, and- anyway. She’s good, but not, y’know… not as good as Sara.”

“Right. She just needs practice.”

“But people could die, Barry. This isn’t just gang violence- wow, it really says something when gang violence is a mediocre ‘just’ compared to the kind of crime we’re talking about. She’s getting experience, but we really could use you.”

“I’m going to need a really good reason. I can’t use family, and I think if we say I have food poisoning again, Captain Singh is going to personally escort me to the doctor’s.”

“I could have food poisoning this time? Or the flu? Something that gets me hospitalized? And then you, my heroic boyfriend, have to come to Starling for a few days to make sure I’m okay.” She gave her best dramatic damsel swoon into his arms; Barry laughed briefly. 

“That could work. I could sell that.” That seemed to be the end as far as Felicity concerned; she pulled out of his arms and started for the door. But then Barry had another thought. “Why aren’t we telling Oliver about this?”

“Because he’s so close to being able to pick up that bow, and if we tell him, he’s going to. This is exactly the thing he hates, and if he knows about it now, he’s going to do something stupid and hurt himself.”

“I’m not comfortable lying to him.”

“We’re not going to lie! Much. We’re going to tell him… when it’s too late for him to come help.” She sighed and hugged him, burying her face in his shirt. “I don’t like it either, but I don’t want him hurt. We will tell him, and we’ll make sure he knows that it’s taken care of, but we are not going to let him get involved in this.”

“I understand.” Barry wrapped his arms around her loosely. “We’ll just pretend I’m going over for the night and take things as they come?”

“I think we can manage that.” They rejoined the group at large, and though Caitlin and Dr. Wells both seemed suspicious, no one asked what they’d been discussing.

“I’m going to go to Starling tonight, and I might take a sick day tomorrow,” Barry informed everyone at the end of the night. With a dark frown, Oliver hobbled across the lab to his bed, effectively dismissing himself from the conversation. “I’m only a phone call and 45 minutes away if anything comes up.”

“What about Ronnie?” Cisco asked.

“Mr. Raymond has managed this long without us; another day should be just fine. Take a day for yourself, Barry,” Dr. Wells said with a faint smile.

“Thanks. Don’t worry, guys, I’m sure everything will be just fine.” He grabbed the Flash suit and packed it into his bag. “See you guys later.” Bag over one shoulder, Felicity’s hand in his, they left Star Labs. At the front door, they paused. “Do you want to take the train or run?”

“We can run back as long as you aren’t going to set all my clothes on fire.” Barry grinned sheepishly.

“Why don’t you wear some of my clothes just in case.” He scooped her up in his arms and sped them to his apartment. She pulled a key out of her purse and unlocked the door, giggling as he carried her over the threshold. He went through the motions of setting her down and watching her walk away, lost in the gravity of that symbolic gesture. Maybe this was still early stages for them, maybe the vigilante-ing would be the death of them, maybe- maybe Felicity could be with him for a while. Forever, even. Maybe.

Sure, they were young still, and there were a lot of uncertainties in their future (see the afore-thought-of vigilante-ing). And they’d danced around this possibility for months after everything that had happened in the year since they’d met before finally giving it a go. But this was easily the best relationship he’d ever been in, and not just because he was finally letting Iris go. He could be completely honest with Felicity, and she returned the favor. They understood each other beyond just a few similar interests. Maybe this was the kind of relationship that didn’t end.

“Hey, you ready?” She interrupted his reverie by putting her clothes in his bag, next to the Flash suit. She wore an old pair of his sweatpants and a Star Labs sweatshirt for the trip.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” He handed her the bag to hold onto, and once it was strapped across her body, she jumped on his back for a piggyback ride. Then out, into the night, nothing but a red and yellow streak headed for Starling City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! As before, canon events that work well and are good are just being inserted as necessary, and anything that ruins my plans or just isn't any good is being ignored. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I have the bulk of the next five chapters mentally planned out and about half of it written down, so fingers crossed for lots of progress. Things are starting to get good! (And yes, I do have a plan and an end goal, just... a loose plan for getting there.)


	15. The Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starling City's criminals don't take time off just because the Arrow is away.

“Can’t you stay here? We can go to the Arrow Cave later if you’re really that eager to work,” Barry all but begged, trailing kisses down Felicity’s neck to try to convince her. Even though they’d managed to spend the night in without any crises arising, a little more alone time was all he wanted. “If something bad happens, Diggle can always call us. What’s the fun in me taking a day off if you have to go to work?”

“It’s not supposed to be fun, Barry. I have to go,” Felicity sighed. “Ray was invited to the mayor’s anti-Brickwell meeting today as a security consultant or industry leader or something else, and as his assistant, I get to go. There’s no better way to get information for the team than to be in this meeting.” Barry groaned and buried his face in her shoulder.

“I hate it when you’re right. And let me guess, the meeting is this morning, so you can’t even call in late.”

“I can’t.”

“Fiiiiiine,” he whined. Then he picked his head up and looked down at her with a mischievous grin. “I don’t suppose you’d stay here if, say, I made it a little awkward for you to go out in public in the dress you picked out today…”

“Barry Allen. You wouldn’t dare.” He smirked and leaned in closer. She laughed and pushed on his chest, moving him away from her. “Barry, I have to go to work, whether you leave hickeys on my shoulders or not! But I was planning to wear a cute dress today that I can’t wear if you do that, and I will be really mad at you if I have to rethink my whole outfit!”

“Can I get a rain check on that? Cause I am here all day, and you could always wear a really cute sweater tomorrow.” He gave her his best puppy dog eyes and innocent grin. She glared at him for all of two seconds before dissolving into giggles.

“Yes, you can have a rain check! After work and as long as we don’t have go be vigilantes all night – and even then, you might still get lucky.” They both waited for Felicity to try to back out of that innuendo. “No, you know what, I actually do mean that.” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. She kissed his cheek and rolled out of bed. “That was more than worth the face you just made.”

“I’m so used to you backtracking when you say stuff like that that I honestly don’t know what to do when you mean it!”

“Finally, my lack of filter is good for something!” She disappeared into her closet.

“Wait, does this mean I have to watch you get dressed up and then wait all day to be able to take that dress off?” Barry asked, somewhat absently checking his phone.

“That is exactly what that means.”

“I am not taking days off when you have work anymore. This is just unfair.”

“You loveable dummy. Why don’t you make yourself useful and go get coffee?”

“Because you have a coffeemaker.”

“But it’s faster for you to go get it, and it’ll be tastier,” she whined. Barry rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly in the direction of her closet and slid out of bed.

“I can’t make them make it any faster.” Before she could answer, he had gotten dressed and was gone.

\---------

Technically, this was supposed to be an invite-only, behind-closed-doors kind of meeting. But when you can move so fast that no one can see you, the only problem with spying is finding a way to be invisible in the room. Fortunately, there was a small closet in one corner of the conference room. Barry followed Ray and Felicity at a distance to the police station, then zipped into the room and hid himself in the closet. There was a joke there somewhere, he was sure, but he had no one to make it to even if he could think of it. Unfortunately, for purposes of not getting shot and arrested by Captain Lance, he had to keep the door shut and be perfectly still.

The specific words being said were a little muffled by the door between his ear and the speakers, but Barry kept up with the general gist of things. He wondered what the point of Ray Palmer even being here was; he waltzed in a minute late (which probably had Felicity about ready to rip him a new one as it was) and proceeded to be exactly the worst kind of egotistical rich guy possible. Just shut up already-

Not like that. Gunshots were not how Barry wanted to see him shut up. Thank god he’d put on the Flash suit for this super-secret spy mission. He burst out of the closet, grabbed Felicity, and pulled her to safety. By the time he’d rescued a few other members of the meeting, including one Ray Palmer, Laurel had saved her father and the mayor, but several aldermen were missing. Barry caught Laurel’s eye across the room, then zoomed away. Better for him not to be here at all.

He let himself into the Arrow Cave before calling Felicity. “Please tell me you’re okay,” he begged as soon as she answered the phone.

“Thanks to you. I owe you more than a rain check,” she informed him. He let out a sigh of relief and sank into her chair. “Laurel’s getting the information we’ll need, and I’ll be back in my office in a few minutes. Find Roy and Dig and I’ll be in touch soon.”

“Should I call Oliver?”

“No. I will.”

“Okay. Hey, I love you, so don’t get in anymore shootouts while I’m not hiding in a closet to overhear them.”

“Same to you. Wait, no, that doesn’t… just don’t die. Or even get injured. Or else.”

“Promise I won’t.”

“I’m holding you to that. Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.” She hung up, but Barry didn’t put his phone down for another moment. Only to pick it up again, as he had some calls of his own to make.

\------------

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Ray asked for what felt like the millionth time.

“Yes, I’m positive. I wish I could say this was my first time dealing with guns and criminals, but weirdly enough, working here when it was Queen Consolidated wasn’t super safe either. I’m getting scary good at working all day after traumatic events and then just eating my feelings in ice cream later.” Despite that reassurance, Ray followed Felicity into her office.

“You’re not just saying that to try to get me to leave you alone to break down, are you? Because it’s fine if you’re not okay, if you need time or something-”

“No, I don’t need time. I need to work. I need to finish today’s work so I can leave early and then go somewhere that is not here,” she snapped, sitting down at her desk with more force than necessary. “It would be easier for me to finish my work if you were not hovering in my office.”

“Right.” Ray nodded and turned to leave, then turned back to her with a questioning look. “Is this just about today, or about the fact that this is the longest time we’ve spent together since I kissed you? I know you had that sick cousin in Central City, and then… Oliver Queen… and then we’ve both been busy quite a lot…” He trailed off as Felicity sighed.

“It’s not about that, but if you want to bring it up… that was a mistake. It happened, it won’t happen again.”

“It- That was not at all what I was planning to say about it. Actually-”

“Ray.” Felicity turned away from her computer and faced him over her desk. She wanted him out of her office yesterday. Time to dig in and make it happen. “It happened. It was a lapse of judgement on both our parts. We work together, and that’s not a thing we’re gonna do. It’s weird, it’s awkward, it’s not a thing we’re doing. I’ve already moved on, not even thinking about it. This needs to be not a thing. No more of the flirting with me and then telling me the sob story that makes you not want to be with anybody and then kissing me. Nothing but professionalism.” She paused, and Ray took a breath to speak, but she interrupted him. “One lapse in judgement of kissing, and then a second one when I helped you. I’m not doing that anymore either. You are on your own with the suicidal suit thing, okay? I just want to do my job and do it well. No more distractions.”

“Right. Heard and understood.” Ray nodded slowly and walked out the door. Only to poke his head back in. “If you ever change your mind-”

“I have a boyfriend and that suit is still going to get you killed, so no, no mind changing on either front,” she snapped. He looked hurt, but finally left. Thank goodness. She got up as soon as he was out of sight, shut her office door, and pulled out her phone. She called into the com frequency, put it on speaker, and started digging into the Starling City Police Department servers for the information she needed.

“Barry?”

“I’m here, Roy’s suiting up, Diggle’s on his way… what’s up?”

“If I get fired, will Dr. Wells hire me?”

“What did you do?”

“I snapped at Ray. He was hovering. I couldn’t get him to just go away.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, since he didn’t fire you on the spot…”

“Thea could hire you,” Roy suggested, breaking into the conversation now that his hood was on. “Any chance you could DJ?”

“What, you don’t like the guy she has now? He sounds pretty good,” Barry said.

“He’s a creep.”

“Focus, boys. We have some aldermen to rescue,” someone else broke in.

“Laurel? I thought you were working?” Felicity asked.

“Took the day off to recover from the traumatic event of the morning. I’m ready to go, just point me in the right direction.”

“I’ve got a lead, thanks to the files you sent me. Actually, make that two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're rolling! I've had a lot of success writing recently, hence a chapter finally coming up quickly! Fingers crossed for more of the same. 
> 
> Also, canon? What canon? It's more like guidelines. If you came here looking for lots of Ray Palmer, I hate to break it to you, but no.


	16. Misery Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brickwell isn't the only one with a move to make.

Splitting up to chase down those leads seemed like a good idea at the time. But when Barry came back with limited information, and Arsenal and Black Canary’s efforts at saving the aldermen ended with one of them dead, team morale hit a new low. Felicity and Barry poured over the information they had while Roy and Laurel took turns blaming themselves for this failure.

“The police are abandoning the Glades,” Felicity informed the group. “Brickwell wants to take control of the Glades tonight and they aren’t going to try to stop him.”

“Shit. I’m going to get Thea home, then we need to hit the streets.” Roy grabbed his hoodie and a gun.

“No, we need a plan,” Diggle argued. “The four of us aren’t enough to stop him and his men.”

“Well, we’re all there is, so we will make it work.” Felicity typed furiously, taking control of street cameras all through the Glades.

“You guys have to have more friends around here, right?” Barry asked. Everyone paused.

“You’re brilliant! Roy, take Thea home, then get in touch with Sin, see if she can organize anybody who’s willing to fight. I’ll talk to Ted.” Laurel left behind her mask and wig in favor of street clothes. The rest of Team Arrow lingered for a moment.

“Are we seriously taking orders from Laurel?” Roy asked, disbelieving.

“Until you start having brilliant ideas, yes,” Felicity snapped. “Go. Take Thea home. Get Sin.” Roy pulled his hoodie on and stormed up the stairs. Convincing Thea to close the club and go home was easy, once she’d seen the news. Tracking Sin down was a little harder; she grudgingly answered his texts in the most unhelpful way ever. He thought he was on the right track, but maybe not?

“Yo, Abercrombie.” Roy spun around; Sin shuffled down the sidewalk, her hands in her pockets.

“Sin, thanks for coming. I need a favor-”

“That’s why you came down here? Dude, do you only call me when someone’s in trouble?” Roy winced.

“You do the same thing to me!” he countered.

“Only because you don’t answer otherwise!”

“Can we just… agree that we should both try to stay in touch when it’s not an emergency, and then you can help?”

“Alright, fine. Is this about Brick?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the Arrow doing?”

“He’s… away. It’s just me and- well, it’s just me.” It occurred belatedly that given the not talking to each other thing they’d had going on, no one had told Sin about Sara. And he wasn’t about to tell her right now. After. After, he would tell her. “I have some friends working other angles, but I need the Glades to fight back. As many people as you can get.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

\--------------

The streets in the Glades were empty and dark, but as Daniel Brickwell and his crew moved in, the tension rose all the same. They didn’t make it far; a black van pulled into the middle of an intersection and stopped. Diggle hopped out of the driver’s seat, armed to the teeth, while Laurel, Roy, and Barry jumped out of the back. The four of them faced down the now stopped thugs.  
“My favorite trick-or-treaters. Well, look at that. Didn't anybody tell you Halloween was three months ago?” Brickwell taunted, seemingly unconcerned. “Run along, kids.”

“Daniel Brickwell, you have failed this city,” Laurel called out. Whatever insecurities and struggles she might have had with taking on the role of the Canary were gone. Only the confident hero prepared to save her city remained.

“And you seem to have failed in your math. Can't you see there's a lot more of us than there are of you?”

“Guess again, Brick-head.” Sin rounded one corner, leading everyone in the Glades who was willing to defend it. From the other side of the street, Ted Grant brought in his fighters and any contacts he could recruit. They slowly filled the street, creating a blockade. Brickwell looked unimpressed.

“Is this little parade supposed to mean something?” he wondered aloud. “Doesn’t matter. Get them!” His men advanced with a battle cry, expecting no real resistance. They were surprised to face a challenge in the under-armed, under-trained Glades residents, but with three vigilantes and an ex-soldier at their head, the drive to defend their city overwhelmed their survival instincts. An all-out brawl ensued, and while at first it looked like the odds should be on Brickwell, the tides quickly turned. Glades residents found themselves whisked out of danger, spontaneously re-armed when their weapons broke or ran out of ammo, suddenly facing an already incapacitated thug – all courtesy of one speedster.

In less time than seemed possible when first facing the opposition, Roy fought his way to Daniel Brickwell himself. He shot the man in the hand before he could fire a shot, then used one of Oliver’s wire arrows to pin him by the neck to a wall. And then shot his other hand, just for safety. And maybe another couple of wire arrows around his legs as well, just to be sure.

“Daniel Brickwell, you have failed this city,” he snarled, arrow aimed at Brickwell’s head.

“And who are you supposed to be? The great ‘Arrow,’” Brickwell scoffed, “is a little taller, wears green. He abandoned his city.”

“This city will never be abandoned. This is my city too.” Brickwell tried to break free, and Roy shot him through the right shoulder. The arrow tip embedded itself in the wall, and Brickwell finally stopped struggling. “I’m Arsenal, and this city is under my protection.”

When Roy turned back around to the fight, it was almost over. Brickwell’s thugs were retreating – only to see the cops advancing. Trapped between cops and an angry army, they surrendered. But with the cops coming on, many of the Glades residents wanted to leave, lest they be punished too. Laurel jumped on top of the van to address them.

“Citizens of the Glades, of Starling City! I know things have been bad lately, and I know you’ve felt alone. You are not alone. As long as you remain here, we will never abandon you!” Laurel paused to look back at the cops, while her assembled army cheered. “Go home. You are safe again. This city is protected.” She jumped off the van as the crowd began to disperse. Cops entered the fray to round up all of Brickwell’s men. Laurel grabbed Barry.

“I have to get out of here. My dad’s coming and he’ll notice,” she hissed. Barry glanced around quickly; they both saw that Lance had taken a detour to talk to Roy and Sin.

“I don’t think leaving is going to be your best option.”

As soon as he had arrived on the scene, Captain Lance sought out one of the vigilantes he knew would have answers for him. He spotted Harper’s red hood as he talked to one of his friends, then made his way over. They were in the middle of an apparently intense conversation, as the girl looked like she was torn between crying and punching the kid in the face. As he walked up, Lance caught the tail end of something Harper said: “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sara before. We just had a lot-”

“I don’t care what you had going on! You make time to tell people when someone dies!” Sin shoved Roy back a few feet. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, asking for my help when you couldn’t be bothered to tell me about Sara for months!”

“What’s this about Sara?” Captain Lance stepped in between them before it could come to blows. Sin glowered at Roy and crossed her arms. Underneath mask and hood, Roy paled and looked panicked.

“It’s, um.” Roy opened his mouth to lie, but at a look from Sin, changed his mind. “You really want to talk to Laurel.”

“Laurel? What’s she got to do with this?” Roy shuffled to the side to look around. He caught Laurel’s eyes as she and Barry stood together, both looking distinctly uncomfortable. Roy motioned her over just as Lance also looked. “I’ll just talk to Sara…” he trailed off as the Canary walked over, staff in her hand.

“Hi, Dad,” Laurel said, stopping close enough to talk without being overheard. Captain Lance stared at her in confusion.

“Laurel?” She nodded. “What- what do you think you’re doing? Does your sister know you’re in her costume?”

“No, she doesn’t.” Laurel paused.

“If you don’t tell him, I will,” Sin threatened, adding Laurel to the list of people earning death glares.

“Dad, Sara’s… Sara’s gone.” Lance frowned, stubbornly not wanting to understand it. 

“She was backpacking, right?”

“I… I lied to you about that. I lied because I wanted… I wanted to pretend she wasn’t. I wanted to have answers before I told you. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Laurel collapsed the staff and returned it to her belt while talking, all to avoid meeting her father’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Dad, I didn’t want to tell you like this. Sara’s dead.”

“She’s- she’s… dead,” he echoed, the color draining out of his face. This was exactly why Laurel hadn’t told him before. Right after the acceptance sunk in, his eyes welled up with tears, and it looked like he was going to break down there in the street. Then he blinked, inhaled sharply, and straightened up. Gone were the tears, replaced by a dark rage. “When?”

“October,” Roy supplied when Laurel just gaped with growing horror.

“October. You’ve been lying to me for months? Because you didn’t want me to be hurt? How could I not? And then you added to it – we had a trust, a bond, and you broke it!” Lance dropped his voice so no one would hear him say her name: “Laurel, I don’t know who you think you were protecting. I needed to know.” He stormed off, barking orders at some beat cops to round up a few thugs who looked like they might try to run for it.

“That went well,” Roy remarked, entirely sarcastic. Sin punched him hard in the shoulder and stomped away.

“I’m not done with you, Arsenal!” she yelled back over her shoulder. He sighed and looked up at the night sky.

“We should go,” he suggested. “Before we fuck anything else up.” Laurel nodded, on the verge of tears. They found Dig and Barry, then walked slowly back towards Verdant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for Lindsey Stirling providing amazing writing music. Here we go! As before, I'm borrowing from the canon when it suits me and ignoring it when it doesn't. Expect less and less of the Arrow canon from here out because I'm pretending it never happened anyway. 
> 
> Thank you, everyone who's reading and in particular the folks who've bookmarked and keep coming back for more! I hope you like where we're going!


	17. Not With Haste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not enough just to save the city. Sometimes other mistakes shake things up.

Felicity was waiting for them in the Foundry, nervously fiddling with a pen as she watched the news footage on several different displays. She spun in her chair and leaned forward to watch the returning heroes; her sigh of relief was cut short by the obvious dark mood. When Barry hit the bottom of the stairs, she jumped up and crossed the room to hug him.

“What happened?” she asked, looking back at the slowly disrobing team. Barry pulled his mask off and scratched his head, making his hair stick out in every direction.

“I think the gist of it is that Captain Lance and… her name is Sin? They know about Sara. And they understandably did not take the news well,” he said, striving for neutral and non-judgmental. Or hypocritical, given the secrets he was keeping from others.

“Oh. OH.” Felicity bit her lip and pointedly did not look at anyone but Barry. Roy slammed his quiver back into the case with more force than was necessary; Laurel braced her hands on the table and stared down at her wig and mask, unable to go on for a minute. “Well… the city is safe, thanks to you guys. Good work team! Brickwell’s going away for a long time, all his thugs are off the streets now… I think you’ve all earned some sleep. And maybe a shower,” Felicity suggested, walking back to her computer.

“Have you told Oliver?” Diggle asked, leaning on her desk.

“Yes, and he’s been watching the news and messaging me constantly.”

“Can I talk to him?” Roy asked, leaving his weapons behind.

“You can, but he’s pretty cranky and has a whole list of complaints about your fighting form, so maybe tomorrow’s better.”

“No, I need to talk to him tonight.” Felicity typed for a moment, then pulled up a video chat with Star Labs. Oliver was at the main computer, frowning at something on another screen.

“What is it?” he asked, bring his attention to the video, the frown fading a little. Felicity pushed herself out of the way so Roy could move into frame.

“Oliver, I have to tell Thea,” he said seemingly out of nowhere.

“Tell Thea what?” Oliver’s frown returned full force.

“About me being Arsenal. I’m not going to tell her everything about you, but… I’m practically living with your sister.” He cringed briefly, knowing that wasn’t helping his case at all. “Last time I lied to her about this, I hurt her really badly. I don’t want to do that again. I have to tell her. She deserves to know.” The older man’s frown darkened towards a scowl. Roy thought fast and barreled on, knowing that if he was interrupted now, there was no way Oliver would agree with him.

“I keep ducking out on her ‘to help a friend.’ She doesn’t buy it, Oliver. She knows enough – about me, and about the stuff we’re up to – to know that I’m full of shit, and I’m tired of it. She deserves the truth. I’m tired of lying to people. It’s not protecting anybody, it’s just hurting them.” He had more than learned his lesson from Sin, and he planned to spend some quality time making it up to her. Roy refused to make the same mistake with Thea.

“If she knows about Roy, it’ll make it easier to tell her about you when this charade is over,” Diggle interjected, ever the rational voice. Oliver turned his glare on Dig. It lost none of its potency despite the 600 miles. “You’re going to have to explain how you were not dead for however long we’re pretending. And if you ever were going to tell her, that would be the time. Don’t you think this would make it a little easier?” Roy shot Dig a grateful look, while Oliver looked conflicted. And angry.

“Maybe,” he conceded after a long, tense minute. Everyone’s attention snapped to the video, surprised not only that he’d given in, but so quickly. He didn’t look happy about it at all.

“You’re serious, right? Because I’m going to.”

“Yes. Maybe… maybe this is what’s best.” Oliver clenched his jaw, then without warning moved on. “When I return to Starling, we need to work on smoothing out your transition from shooting to hand-to-hand. You were sloppy tonight.”

“Great, yeah, we can… yeah, I’m going home. Shower. Talk to Thea. All that.” Roy slid out of camera; for once, he literally could run away from a conversation with Oliver. He grabbed his hoodie and took the stairs two at a time, not caring that the conversation was still going on without him.

“We held our own just fine tonight.” Laurel carried on the conversation in defiance, fully aware that she needed more practice than Roy, and Oliver certainly would be the first to say so. “We had a lot of help.”

“Good,” Oliver said tightly.

“Hey, I’ll be back tomorrow, and we can start a countdown… thirteen days or less till you can go home.” Barry smiled and tried to lighten the mood. “Starling City is safe and things are turning around.”

“For now,” Oliver grumbled.

“I think we should all go get some sleep,” Felicity suggested with a slightly dramatized yawn. “We’ll talk to you tomorrow, Oliver.” He made a noise of agreement and closed out of the video chat. She turned her chair to face Laurel. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Me? Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She walked away to pick up her bag, stubbornly refusing to see the skeptical and concerned looks Barry and Felicity were giving her.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” Diggle said, effectively shutting down any attempts at Talking About Our Feelings.

“Thank you, John.” Laurel slung her duffel bag over her shoulder and climbed the stairs, Dig hot on her heels. Felicity fiddled with her pen again, shaking her head slightly.

“You remember that sleep idea? I vote we get going on that. Maybe pick up a pizza on the way, because I am starving,” Barry suggested, flipping his hood up again.

“Everything is closed because of the fight. And because it’s really late. I guess nothing would be open this time anyway.”

“Okay, ice cream?”

“Now you’re talking. There’s a twenty-four hour convenience store that sells Ben and Jerry’s a block from my place- not that I go there a lot, but it’s good to know where you can get ice cream in an emergency-” Barry cut her off by picking her up and running out of the Foundry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I am bad at summaries tonight. 
> 
> Sorry about the delay again... I'm going to try to do a chapter a week now. I'm working again and that's taking up all my writing time and making me too tired to write sometimes, but I'm hoping to reach an equilibrium that lets me keep working. Thanks for sticking with me, everybody. Things just get better from here. (In this story, that is. Not in the canon, which we aren't talking about.)


	18. Leaving Things Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little honesty can't hurt, can it? Roy isn't sure.

Roy didn’t get the chance to talk to Thea when he got back to her apartment. She was clearly panicky and he spent the night calming her down and actually sleeping. It wasn’t the kind of conversation Roy wanted to just spring on her in the wrong place or at the wrong time, and immediately after the Glades went to shit again was definitely the wrong time. They had work the following day; talking to her before work seemed like a recipe for failure, so after work was probably the best plan. That meant getting through the whole day (work day, that is, not actual day) first, which was not made easier by that asshole DJ Chase flirting with Thea most of the night. At the end of the night, she paid him and managed to shake him off.

“Let’s get out of here while the night’s still young,” Roy suggested, leaning on the bar. Thea smiled at him and put away the bottles she’d been inventorying.

“Funny definitions of ‘night’ and ‘young’ you’re using. It’s three am.”

“It’s close enough.” He grinned; she rolled her eyes at him, took care of a few final things, then headed out. Roy drove them back to Thea’s apartment in relative silence. The car wasn’t the right place. The elevator up to her floor wasn’t it either. But inside the apartment, that was a good place.

“Hey, I have something I want to tell you,” he started, shoving his hands in his pockets and hovering awkwardly by the door. Thea put her purse down and kicked off her shoes.

“Actually, I want to ask you something too. Do you want to move in here?” She looked at him just in time to catch his bewildered initial reaction.

“Oh, um… wow.” He rubbed the back of his head, then jammed his hands in his hoodie pocket..

“Look, I know things are still… weird, with everything that’s happened, but… you’ve been practically living here ever since Ollie… left. I like having you here. And…” She let out a big sigh. “He’s not coming back. It’s stupid, leaving his room set up like he’s going to, and having you sleeping on the couch.”

“It is a really nice couch,” Roy said, earning him a faint smile.

“Still. What do you think?”

“I… I can’t afford the rent here.”

“I own, I don’t rent. And as it turns out, you just got a raise that just about covers what the landlord would charge you in rent for a bedroom.”

“You’re kidding.” She just smirked at him. With a little laugh, he gave in. “Sure, I’ll move in. Officially.”

“Good.” She sat down on the couch and motioned for him to join her. As he shuffled over, she asked, “What did you want to tell me?”

“Oh.” Roy sat down slowly on the very edge of the couch, knees angled towards her. Moment of truth. He could be about to ruin everything. He really should have gone first. “You know how sometimes, I have to run out to ‘help a friend’ at really weird times?”

“Yes. It’s one of your more endearing qualities, how you can’t say no to anyone who needs help.” Thea smiled at him; when he didn’t return the gesture, the smile slid off her face and she leaned back. “You’re still helping the hood, aren’t you.”

“The Arrow,” he corrected instinctively. “And… yeah. I am.”

“Roy…”

“I know, that’s what… I lied to you about that for a long time, and I hate lying to you. I used to think that maybe it was for your safety, but it was just… you didn’t like it, but you were so curious, and it was easier to lie. I don’t want to lie to you about it anymore.”

“Okay, make it up to me by telling the truth.” Her gaze had turned cold, and Roy was seriously regretting this decision. 

“You remember when I was rescued by the Arrow? After that, I used to give him information. Until he shot me in the leg to make me back off of looking into Max’s death.”

“I’d almost forgotten about Max… did you and Sin ever figure that out?”

“Yeah, I did… don’t- don’t tell Sin about this, but… long story short, Max was killed by this guy who was trying to make superhumans with this drug. And when I got on his trail, he kidnapped me and injected me with it.”

“What?!” She looked about to jump on him out of concern.

“Last year, when I was distant and… violent… I was trying to get control over that. The Arrow was helping me and training me. Until he cured me, anyway. That’s why you found arrows under my bed.” Roy took a deep breath. “After you left… I kept working with the Arrow.”

“The red hood who’s with him… that’s you,” Thea said slowly, glancing away from his face to the red hoodie he was wearing.

“Yeah. Arsenal… it’s my code name, I guess.” One corner of his mouth pulled up in a smug grin. “So that’s… where I’ve been going. And will keep going.”

“Okay.” Thea nodded thoughtfully. “I’m glad you told me.”

“You are?”

“Yeah.” After a beat, she got up and stared down at him. “But I can’t believe you lied to me about all of that for years!”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Thought you could keep me safe by lying to me? The way Oliver and my mother and Malcolm did? Roy, I trusted you!”

“I know, I know, god… I’m an idiot, and I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face with one hand, looking properly ashamed of himself.

“Is that really all you have to say for yourself?”

“What do you want me to say, Thea? At first, I lied because you didn’t like it, and I wanted to keep you and keep doing it. Then I lied to protect you from the Arrow – and from me. But recently, I’ve just been lying because it’s habit. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to keep lying to you. I’m sorry I did. I never should have. But I can’t change that, so I’m just trying to… do this right, from now on.” He sighed and slid to the edge of the couch, arms braced to push himself up. “Look, I’ll just go. Let you think about it and see if that offer still stands.”

“You live here,” she argued, lightly pushing his shoulders to keep him down. “I’m mad at you, but I meant it when I said I’m glad you told me. I’ll move on from the lying someday, after you keep telling me the truth. So stay. Start over now.”

“Start over… like, you and me? No lies, just us?” He shuffled back onto the couch.

“Yeah.”

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to hit on you, or the part where we try being friends?” Roy asked, a mischievous and hopeful twinkle in his eyes. Thea rolled her eyes and smiled down at him. There were still plenty of things left unsaid on both their parts, but neither of them were ready to dive into all that mess tonight.

“If you hit on me, are you going to say something stupid like you used to, back when we first started dating?” She stepped into his personal space and stopped just shy of sitting in his lap, savoring her height advantage.

“I’d like to think I’ve grown as a person since then, but I am also really out of practice.” He reached out and lightly ran his hands over her thighs.

“Is that so?” Smirking, she knelt on the couch, essentially straddling him.

“Well, see, I was dating this amazing girl, only I really fucked things up with her. Never did quite move on.”

“Roy Harper. You are such a dumbass.” She put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back into the couch, and leaned in to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, building our side interests! And yes, we're rolling right along! Woohoo! Even in light of the amazing Flash finale and frankly disappointing Arrow finale, this story is the gift that keeps giving for me. I hope you're all enjoying the ride! Thanks for sticking with me.


	19. Alibi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long night of heroics, an easy day of work is all Barry needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in the same chronological moment as Chapter 18.

After the excitement and adrenaline rush of saving the Glades, neither Barry nor Felicity had the energy to care about the rain check. When he left at far too early in the morning the next day, he scribbled her a note on her grocery list, promising to collect on that next time they could get away (and apologizing for ruining her grocery list). He made a pit stop at Jitters before heading to the station, where he was shockingly only one minute late. A backlog of small cases occupied his entire morning; it was easy to get lost in the flow of processing evidence.

“Got time for lunch with your old man?” Joe startled Barry in the middle of preparing a blood sample for analysis. Only his lightning fast reflexes prevented the vial from hitting the floor.

“Yeah, sure, one second.” He put the blood away and joined Joe in the hallway. They caught up on the various small time crimes he’d missed while in Starling on the way to the burger joint around the corner from the station. As they settled into a corner booth and were out of earshot, Joe turned the talk to the uprising in Starling City.

“Reports are saying the Flash was involved in the Glades. There’s a picture that might be him talking to the Black Canary and Arsenal.” Joe said the names skeptically; it was one thing calling Barry “the Flash” but to have even more masked vigilante types? No, thank you.

“Well- wait, someone got a picture?” Joe grinned; Barry couldn’t deny his involvement even if he wanted to.

“A few, and you and your ‘friends’ are unidentifiable. Iris found them and showed me. So, you want to explain?”

“With Oliver still laid up, they needed my help. A lot.”

“So your ‘visiting my sick girlfriend’ excuse was actually so you could go to Starling… but why go all day? That didn’t go down till after dark, and that’s plenty of time after work.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Barry looked properly sheepish. “I went there the night before, in case Brickwell made a move before the anti-Brick meeting yesterday morning. He didn’t, but he did shoot up the meeting-”

“You were there?” Barry nodded. “How’d you get in?”

“Oh, well, the Flash let himself in. Which was a really good thing, since I saved a bunch of people.”

“You eavesdropped on a police meeting?”

“I saved people! I feel like that’s more important.”

“Alright, Mr. Hero, good job. Where were you when those aldermen were ambushed by the Black Canary and Arsenal?”

“I was chasing down a different lead, actually, and they were trying to save the aldermen. By the time I knew it was going south, I couldn’t get there quickly enough to save them.” Barry looked down at his hands. The failure was eating at Roy and Laurel enough, but it also hurt Barry, even though it wasn’t his fault. He just felt that he should have been faster.

“I’m sorry, son. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure they did all they could.”

“They did. You don’t know them, but they’re my friends and they’re doing the best they can.” He jumped on the opportunity to defend his friends to Joe.

“Alright, I get it.” He let it go and waited until after they’d received their food to get on with his other line of investigation. “So, this girlfriend of yours.”

“What about her?”

“So she’s real?”

“Oh, um… yeah…” Barry winced, suddenly realizing he hadn’t told Joe. In between all the chaos and his trips to Starling, he’d completely forgotten about that. 

“But she wasn’t sick.”

“Nope.”

“Do I know her?”

“Yes. You remember Felicity Smoak?”

“Oliver’s friend?”

“Yeah. We started dating after the whole rescue thing.”

“So that’s why you never seem to be around even when the Flash isn’t busy.” Barry’s ears turned red.

“… Yeah,” he admitted.

“Hey, I’m just asking.” Joe held his hands up innocently. “You like her? She makes you happy?”

“She does. I really do like her.”

“Good. You sure she’s just as into you? She seemed pretty wrapped up in Oliver before…”

“It’s… they’re complicated, but yeah, she’s into me.”

“Just want to be sure you’re with the right person.”

“Joe. Iris is with Eddie. I’m moving on with my life, and I’m happy with Felicity, okay?”

“I just don’t want either of you kids waking up one day and realizing you’re with the wrong person.”

“If either of us do, it’s our own fault. You have to let us live our lives and make our own mistakes.” Joe met Barry’s stubborn look and gave in with a smile.

“So, how are things with you and Iris?” 

“Joe, for real?” Barry looked at Joe, dumbfounded, but Joe thought his question deserved an answer. “Fine, I guess. We don’t see each other much. Just… too busy. And I don’t know what to say anymore. I have to lie to her all the time now, and I hate it. I feel like I can’t even talk to her.”

“Barry, you can’t tell her the truth-”

“Not now I can’t! Even if I told her about being the Flash, where do I stop? Do I tell her about Oliver? About the rest of us? I hate lying to her, but I don’t know what else to do now. She’s never going to forgive me whenever I do tell her.”

“If. If you tell her,” Joe insisted.

“Come on, Joe.” Barry gave him a scathing look. “She’s either going to figure it out or I’m going to have to tell her at some point. It’s just a matter of when and how, and how pissed she’ll be when she does find out.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying… that I get it, but I’d rather tell her.”

“You can’t.”

“Fine.” For a few minutes, they ate in tense silence.

“Barry, you can’t tell her.”

“Why not? It’s killing me, and honestly, I’m not buying the ‘ignorance keeps her safe’ line anymore. She’s investigating me and other metahumans on her own and for the paper – she might get in trouble and not have any way to reach me.” Barry left out the tiny details - like how Roy was probably reading Thea in right now, how much easier it was to talk to Felicity simply because she knew, how it felt like everything was falling apart because he couldn’t just talk to Iris the way he always had. Joe didn’t care about that. He just saw the danger. 

“Barry-”

“You know what, forget it.” He sighed in frustration. “I don’t even know how I would tell her, if I could, so just… whatever.” He dropped the topic… for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay weekly updates! I really hope to keep up with this, and I am a few chapters ahead of what I'm posting, but the one I'm in has been giving me some trouble. Fingers crossed that I can get it worked out over the weekend and on my next day off. 
> 
> I kind of feel like I need to add a tiny disclaimer that the disaster known as the Arrow S3 canon has left its scars, which I'm trying to heal with this fanon. But I'm optimistic. 
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading!
> 
> Edit: Wow, guess who forgot to title this? Fail, me. Fail.
> 
> Edit part two: it just occurred to me that this is getting very long and I haven't even gotten to the meat of the story yet. Which seems sad, but then I looked at my plot calendar again and remembered that I'm literally rewriting the entire back half of both shows, which is 28 episodes worth of plot and character development (a term I use loosely given what went down in Arrow). So, yes, it's long, and we're still a ways from big events, but I promise, it's going to go places.


	20. Closer to the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without the Arrow, Oliver has far too much time to think and not quite enough to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I forgot my promise of weekly updates, didn't you? I did not! Here it is! I suspect many of you have been awaiting this.

For about a week after the Glades uprising, criminal activity in Starling City took a sharp nosedive. Images of Arsenal and the Black Canary trended and hit most news stations during lulls in actual news. The few pictures of the Flash working with the Starling vigilantes spawned wild speculation – and suppressed crime in Central City for a little while too.

Between the convenient lull and Oliver’s markedly improved health, Caitlin declared him fit to travel, so Felicity made the arrangements. He was still in splints and under strict orders to take it easy for the first week.

“Next week, I’ll come out for a few days to check on you and start some physical therapy. If you feel off at all, we can push it back,” Caitlin told Oliver, adjusting his walking boot.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” he said, standing up the instant she let go. He leaned on one crutch for support, but this was the best he’d felt since the fight. “Thank you. All of you.”

“You’re very welcome.” Caitlin smiled at him warmly.

“Dude, you sure you don’t want to take the rocket chair?” Cisco drove circles around the lab in Oliver’s wheelchair. “Even if you can walk, this thing is great!”

“You’re not keeping the wheelchair. It will not fit in my car.” Felicity intervened, grabbing the bag of medications and other supplies Caitlin had packed for Oliver. Behind her, Diggle smirked and grabbed Oliver’s bags. “Let’s go.” She walked towards the door, only to be waylaid within a few feet by Barry stealing a goodbye kiss. Oliver limped out the door, pointedly ignoring them. Diggle walked after him, clearing his throat to break up the young lovers.

“I’ll call you? Maybe we can do something this weekend?” Barry trailed after Felicity, who was trying to catch up to her boys while walking backwards.

“Yes! Definitely.” She beamed and gave him a little wave. “Bye, Barry.”

“Bye, Felicity.” He stopped in the middle of the hall, watching her turn around and jog a little to catch up with Diggle. He stayed there until Cisco called to him, reminding him of the new tech they wanted to test out.

By the time Friday rolled around, Barry had quite a few ideas about how he’d like to spend the weekend, and all of them involved him not being here. Unfortunately, someone took advantage of the quiet and everyone’s dropped guard to wreak some havoc. A metahuman broke into Iron Heights and took a prisoner out, putting Team Flash back to work. Seeing as it was a fairly straightforward case, Barry declined offers of help and promised to make up for their missed weekend plans once this latest metahuman was safely in the pipeline.

“Well, a metahuman has ruined my Friday night plans,” Felicity sighed, putting her phone back in her purse. She turned to Oliver, who was sitting on the edge of the couch. “Do you want to do dinner or something? I can go get pizza or anything else, I guess, as long as they do to go. Your choice, since you’re the one stuck in here all the time.”

“Pizza’s fine,” he said mildly. She headed out, leaving him alone again in the empty house. It was truly empty – not only devoid of people, but most of the furnishings as well. Diggle and Felicity had found two couches and two arm chairs for the living room, as well as a television and a few other miscellaneous things, but the furniture didn’t fill the space. Felicity had gotten him a bed and made plans with Thea to help her clean out the apartment over the weekend and “store” his stuff at the mansion – a very clever plan, really. But even in the two and a half years since the island, he hadn’t accumulated that much stuff beyond clothes and weaponry, so that wouldn’t really fill the space either.

Nowhere felt like home anymore. This was a hollow place, full of ghosts and someone else’s memories, more like a way station or safe house than a home. Even his apartment with Thea hadn’t been quite right, but he might never live there again, now that Roy was, filling the space he left behind. Everyone was moving on: Diggle and Lyla were moving forward towards a wedding, Thea had Roy in some capacity, Felicity had Barry… and Oliver was alone. Alone and incapable of doing anything for himself, between his still-broken body and the pretending to be dead problem.

Felicity eventually returned with pizza and ice cream, babbling cheerfully at him through dinner. She even stayed to watch a movie and keep him company. But when it got late, she helped him hobble up the stairs before letting herself out. Leaving him alone, always alone. He watched her drive away and sighed.

Saturday morning, Felicity showed up early with coffee in hand and a coffee maker in a bag. She seemed utterly unsurprised to find Oliver up and moving around already and helped herself to the kitchen.

“Figured this would make your mornings a little brighter,” she explained, setting the machine up. Oliver leaned on the doorway and sipped at his coffee – exactly the way he liked it, as always.

“It will. Thank you.” He paused. “How did you know I’d already be awake?”

“I know you. Even without anything to do, you don’t sleep a whole lot.”

“Not anymore,” he agreed quietly.

“I thought I’d spend some time setting up your computer array and reinforcing your cybersecurity. Unless you had other plans. I can do that any time, I guess, if I’m not working, I just thought maybe you’d like to have that sooner rather than later so you can watch Netflix and video with Caitlin and… things.”

“I’d like that,” he said with a fond smile. Felicity echoed it, and as she walked past him, her hand brushed his in a brief comforting gesture. He limped after her, the walking boot echoing through the empty halls. She unpacked a smaller version of the computer she had in the Foundry and set it up on a table in the blind corner of the living room. It didn’t fill the space any better; on the contrary, the space made it seem small and fragile. Oliver sat in one of the chairs, turned to face Felicity, and spent the better part of the morning watching her in her zone.

She seemed to forget he was actually there as she immersed herself in establishing the software and building security protocols. Once she had a secure internet connection, she put on some music to accompany her while she did the rest of the work. This was the happiest and most relaxed Oliver could recall seeing Felicity, and he felt that he’d do anything to make that continue. Somewhere in the middle of connecting the computer wirelessly to the TV, her phone rang.

“Barry!” she answered brightly with a smile that lit up her face. That kind of smile usually brought one out of Oliver too, but given the cause, it felt more like a punch in the gut. Happiness – he couldn’t make her happy. Barry made her happy, in his weird way. Maybe that’s what Felicity deserved: someone full of light and hope, someone truly good.

But then again, she’d been just as interested in that disastrous date last fall. She had kissed him back. But she had moved on while he was so busy trying to decide who he was, Oliver or the Arrow. When he’d told her he loved her, her silence was probably just shock and confusion, not hope or the possibility of reciprocation. When he had told Barry that “guys like us don’t get the girl,” he hadn’t accounted for the fact that Barry’s a much, much better person. So guys like Barry do get the girl.

And guys like Oliver lose the girl to them.

“Oliver?” He snapped his attention back to Felicity, smoothing away the frown before he looked at her again. “Did you hear what Barry just said?” He realized belatedly that Felicity had put the speedster on speaker phone.

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“This metahuman, she broke her boyfriend out of prison, and we’re trying to track them, but… she can teleport. Anywhere she can see. I don’t know how to catch her. If I grab her, she can just teleport me with her,” Barry repeated.

“Knock her out? Shoot her with a tranquilizer arrow? Or a dart, I guess.”

“If I can get her to stay in one place long enough…”

“Block her in. A tunnel or something. Kill the lights,” Oliver advised.

“I might be able to swing that… thanks, guys. I’ll let you know how it works out.” Barry hung up. Felicity turned her music on again and went back to typing.

“Are you okay?” she asked before Oliver could get lost in his thoughts again.

“I’m fine,” he answered quietly.

“Sure you are. Anything I can do to help?”

“This is nice.” She looked at him skeptically. “Really. Just having you here helps.” He smiled faintly; she flushed and smiled back.

“Well, I don’t have any plans for the rest of the day…”

“Neither do I.”

“I did just set up Netflix. You missed a lot of good TV while you were stuck on an island and out vigilante-ing.”

“So I’ve heard.” They both relocated to the couch and Felicity pulled up a show. “Grey’s Anatomy? Is that a play on the textbook?”

“Yes. Everything you missed in pop culture is in this show, plus there’s like a million seasons so you can keep yourself busy for a while.” They marathoned several episodes in the most normal human interaction Oliver had had since the island. Not that he put a lot of stock in normal these days, but once upon a time, Oliver Queen had watched TV and laid on the couch all day. The Arrow couldn’t afford time off to do that. And maybe this was forced downtime, but…

Felicity was spending time with him again. They were back to normal – or at least whatever place they left off in December, right before he professed his love. In truth, she seemed to have forgotten that. Or moved on past it. He wasn’t sure and was terrified to ask. And with Barry complicating things, he didn’t think anything good could come out of asking.

But he had a lot of time to dwell now. A lot. He hadn’t been back “home,” for lack of a better word, for very long, and yet normal life was stifling him already. Felicity might be drawn into this show, but it was background noise for Oliver’s busy brain. Busy thinking about all the wrong things, like if it really was a bad idea to try to talk to Felicity about his feelings.

Felicity bought take-out Chinese between episodes four and five. She laid out the spread on the coffee table, pointing out which boxes held what.

“How did you know what I wanted?” he asked, picking up chopsticks.

“I know you,” she answered, breaking into the egg rolls right away. Oliver froze, fixating on those words. It wasn’t the first time, not even the first time today. Much as she seemed to have moved on to be with someone else, she was still his- something. His unresolved disastrous almost lover. He could never undo the mistakes he had made, he probably couldn’t even be the right guy for her.

Her phone rang again. “Barry- you’re where? Well, no, of course I’m not there. I’m still at Queen mansion… and you hung up and are running over here,” Felicity sighed with a faint smile, putting her phone away. “I should have gotten more food.”

Oliver knew that Barry would be there in less than a minute. And then he and Felicity would be all over each other, rubbing their happiness and Oliver’s mistakes in his face. Unintentionally, of course – neither of them had a cruel bone in their bodies. But it would kill him all the same, seeing them together. And the more he thought about it, the worse it felt.

Before he could make any horrible decisions, Barry arrived and made himself rather at home. He and Felicity moved to the other couch and devoured the rest of the Chinese food. Well, Barry devoured. Felicity ate what she wanted and passed the rest to the speedster. TV marathon night turned into movie night, with Oliver as the third wheel in his own home. Oliver Queen, third wheel – this had never happened before.

Oliver was plotting how to throw Barry bodily out of the mansion with his leg in a boot and only one good arm. It would not be easy if he was just a normal person, but the superspeed added a complication. However, he was going to risk it just to not have to see what was going on here. But they finally left, and Oliver thought he managed to look vaguely friendly. Or at least not as murderous as he felt.

This was going to kill him if he didn’t do something soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to my loyal readers - you all rock. Welcome and thank you to everyone joining the party now! 
> 
> Chapter 21 is going to be a doozy of a chapter, and I have a really busy weekend coming up. I'm cautiously optimistic about being able to get it edited and turned around for next Thursday, but I make no promises. It will be worth the wait, though, I promise.


	21. Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timing and foresight are not two of Oliver's strong suits, particularly when it comes to his emotions.

Sunday morning, Oliver tried to establish a new routine for himself, starting with the coffee maker. He might not be a technological genius, but it took way too long for him to figure out the settings, during which time he desperately wanted to call Felicity for help. But she wasn’t there, and maybe it’d be less daunting once he got some caffeine in him – the ultimate catch twenty-two. He eventually did make himself coffee, though it wasn’t as good as he thought it could be.

He then limped into the living room and surveyed the room. It felt like a ghost town, in room format. No one left alive to fill the space. When Felicity had been there yesterday, she’d breathed life into the room, into him. She wasn’t here now, and the emptiness took hold. He stood in the doorway, trapped between his thoughts and the threat of disappearing into the void of the living room.

His phone startled him out of his brooding. Felicity texted him to say that she and Barry were bringing over all of his stuff from Thea’s. Oliver wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Not that his feelings really mattered – his belongings were coming to him shortly. Very shortly, apparently; there was a knock at the door. He sighed and made his way into the foyer.

“Hey, where do you want this?” was Barry’s idea of a greeting. Of all the things Oliver could find on his doorstep, this was one that was both very likely and very unwanted. However, the younger man had a charming grin on and had a bunch of boxes around him, and judging by his sweat, he had run all of them over from Thea’s apartment.

“They can all go in the living room, I guess,” Oliver finally said, stepping out of the doorway.

“Great!” Barry sped in and out, making quick work of the piles of boxes. Oliver shuffled back into the living room, looking at the boxes with a growing sense of despair. He had a feeling most of these were clothes, far too many of which he had no cause to wear while legally dead. He couldn’t even leave the house, for pete’s sake. Barry stacked the last of the boxes and turned to Oliver, grinning and giving him a thumbs up. In answer, Oliver smiled faintly and hobbled to the first box.

“Is this… everything?”

“Seems like it! Felicity has a few things in her car, but that should be all!” Even Oliver’s reluctance to have Barry here didn’t bring him down at all. When Felicity arrived, he zipped outside and helped unload her car. Then the two heroes and the girl they both loved reconvened in the living room.

“Do you want help unpacking all of this?” Felicity asked, looking at all the boxes. Oliver sighed and sat down. Much as he didn’t want help, the stairs were still a challenge in his boot, and his arm was not up to carrying boxes.

“That would be nice,” he admitted. Barry turned into a blur before anyone else could move. The boxes vanished in flashes of lightning. In less than a minute, they’d all been relocated to Oliver’s bedroom, except the two small boxes of movies and books, which Barry had unpacked and put on a shelf by the TV.

“There you go,” Barry said triumphantly, sliding to a stop next to Felicity. She smiled and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you for all your help.” It’s a good thing everyone is used to Felicity saying that for him, Oliver thought, because he was definitely not feeling inclined to thank the younger man. This position was rapidly becoming untenable.

Fortunately for Oliver, Barry got an emergency call from Captain Singh just a moment later. He promised to be at the crime scene in less than an hour, made his apologies to both Felicity and Oliver, then sped away. Felicity offered to help unpack everything in Oliver’s bedroom, and for lack of a better alternative, Oliver accepted. On the walk upstairs and through the first several boxes, she caught him up on the state of both Starling and Central City crime, filling in all the little details someone had neglected to tell him.

Oliver was hung up on the continuing mess that his city was in. All because he couldn’t help. There wasn’t a magical cure that could get him back in his hood any faster. He couldn’t save his city. He couldn’t do anything but sit back and watch others clean up messes that should have been his responsibility. Or sit back and glower as someone else got the life he should have had. Felicity had moved on from crime to her work and then something else unrelated, all while unpacking his clothes entirely on her own without any real input from him. Those thoughts echoed around his mind, consuming him without a clear resolution. Unless…

“Felicity,” he interrupted gently. She trailed off and looked at him, curious, several of his shirts still in her hands. “Do you remember… what I told you before I went to face Ra’s?” She flushed, which he took as a clear yes. “I meant that.”

“I believe you… I believed you then. But Oliver… You keep giving me mixed signals! First you wanted to give us a try, then you decided we couldn’t be together. Next you’re telling me you love me, then you’re going off to die!” She hung up the shirts and turned to face him properly

“I didn’t plan to die-”

“But you didn’t plan a way out! Oliver, you didn’t have a way off that mountain, even if you did somehow win. You went off without us! I know you, and every time something bad happens, you think you have to face it alone… to what, protect us? We’re with you – I’m with you. I will always help you, but you have to stop pushing me away.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do now,” he said, stepping closer to her. She blinked and took half a step back, to his confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought that we couldn’t be together while I was the Arrow. But I’m not, not for a while.” Before he could go on, she shook her head and interrupted.

“Oliver, you’ll heal, and you’ll be the Arrow again. I’m not- this is temporary, and I’m not going to go along with this. I’m tired of you stringing me along with all the dangling maybes and kicked puppy faces.” Oliver’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and hurt, and she pointed at him. “That face! It’s not going to work on me! Oliver, you need to be honest with me and with yourself. Why are you bringing this up?”

“Because…” He took a deep breath. “I had hoped that if I survived, when I returned… I had hoped things would be different between us.”

“Do you know how long I waited for you to decide that?” Felicity looked up at him; he took that as an invitation to move closer. But when he did, she looked away and took another half step backwards. “Oliver. I waited for you, and then… you threw your life away. And I didn’t want to… I don’t want to die in the Foundry either, you know, and I didn’t want to miss my chance to get out. And Barry offered me that, and…”

“You took it.” Oliver sighed heavily. “I understand.”

“It’s not just that, but… why are you bringing this up now?” Felicity reached out to him hesitantly, only lightly touching his arm when it was clear he wouldn’t pull away either.

“Because I don’t like how I feel when I see you with him.” He answered honestly, surprising both of them. “I don’t always get along with Barry, but he’s a good kid, and I like him- liked him. Now, I see him and I want to put an arrow in him for the way he looks at you or how he touches you.”

“Oliver Queen, are you jealous?” Felicity said it teasingly to soften the seriousness of the question. His grimace and silence answered her question well enough. “What are you asking me? What do you want?”

“I want to be with you. If you’re willing, I’d like a second chance.”

“Second chance?” Felicity shot him a skeptical look. “This is more like third or fourth chance.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Oliver, I’m dating Barry. I’m not going to just… drop him because you’ve suddenly gotten your head out of your ass! I really care about him- I care about both of you! Don’t try to make me choose between you two, because I can’t- I won’t!”

“I don’t understand,” Oliver said, frowning.

“Of course you don’t.” She smiled briefly. “Oliver, I care about both of you, and I don’t want to hurt either of you. This isn’t just about you and me; what happens here affects Barry too. I’m not going to hurt him. I’m not going to break up with him just to be with you.”

“Right. Of course not.” Oliver clenched his jaw and tried to keep his composure as everything fell to pieces. What a terrible idea this had been. She liked Barry more. He was going to lose everything now. It was just a matter of how she’d say it.

“You’ve already jumped to the worst possible conclusion, haven’t you?” she asked fondly. “Oliver, you see things in such a binary way. Either you are the Arrow or you’re Oliver Queen, either you kill Slade or he kills you, either I’m with you or I’m with Barry… by this point, you should have realized how many third options there are. You can be both the Arrow and Oliver Queen. You defeated Slade without either of you dying. And… I could be with both of you.”

“What?!”

“Polyamory, Oliver, you have to have considered polyamory at some point before!” Felicity turned away and paced around the room, rambling in a sudden fit of nerves. “It is possible to love more than one person at the same time, and if everybody’s consenting and informed and conscientious of each other there’s no reason polyamory can’t work, and honestly I can’t see any other way for all of us to be happy because I can’t pick between you two! I l- I care about both of you, I want to be with both of you! I could be happy with both of you.

“So I’m not picking,” she declared, stopping and looking at him. “If you want to be with me, you are going to have to learn how to share. Not that I’m an object, just that there is only one of me and I only have so much time in a day, and you don’t get all of it all the time.” Oliver stared at her in shock, trying to process. “And I’ll talk to Barry about it, and if you’re both willing, we’ll…we’ll try this.” A heavy silence fell between them, neither sure what to say next.

“Okay. I’m just going to go so you can think about it,” Felicity said, awkwardly excusing herself from Oliver’s bedroom. How on earth was she supposed to get out of this mess? Taking down Mirakuru armies and stopping earthquake machines were far more straightforward challenges. This was either going to work or cost her both of her favorite people.

She headed outside before texting Barry to find out when he’d be back. He answered that he was on his way already, which both made her nerves worse and secured the fatalist attitude of “too late to go back, so the sooner we get this done, the better.” But how… how does one propose polyamory to one’s current boyfriend?

There was the start at the beginning method of talking about Oliver and his feelings to set the stage. That seemed unfair, since Barry had been so happy to be the one she picked over Oliver (not that she had been entirely comfortable with that thought in the first place). Or she could just open by asking him what he thought about polyamory, but that seemed likely to explode in her face. What had she just told Oliver about the world not being made up of binaries? Okay, third option, third option…

She was pacing across the front steps of Queen mansion when Barry arrived. He looked baffled, then stepped in her way, gently grabbed her arms, and stopped her.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I was only gone for three hours, what happened?” She looked up at him apprehensively.

“Oliver is like, the king of bad timing and poor decision making but he finally stopped being completely emotionally constipated, which I’m now realizing is a kind of disgusting analogy for what’s happening, but anyway. The point is, Oliver… Oliver…” she faltered, not quite sure how she wanted to go forward other than that she didn’t want to just babble it all at him.

“Oliver loves you,” Barry sighed in resignation. “I know. We all know. And now… he wants to be with you, right?” Felicity nodded. “I get it. You want to be with him.” And not with me, his brain filled in helpfully. Always the day late lover, better off as friends…

“No! I mean, yes, but also no!” She bit her lip and took a deep breath to stop herself from spewing words at him in no particular order. “I want to be with you. I’m not picking him over you, I never would. But I also want to be with him. I could be happy with either of you – both of you! I could be happy with both of you, and I can’t be happy without either of you. I really care about both of you, and I love having both of you in my life. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

“So… you’re not breaking up with me?” Barry asked, just to confirm.

“No! Absolutely not.” She took his hands in hers and stepped a little closer. “I want to be with you.”

“But you also want to be with Oliver,” he echoed, his confusion obvious.

“Right. Which is why I think- well, what I want to try, instead of breaking up with you or rejecting Oliver, since I do really want to be with both of you… you know, people can love more than one person at a time. That’s a thing people do all the time, fall in love with more than one person. Only they think it has to be an either/or proposition which just hurts everyone involved, when actually they should be thinking about polyamory…”

“Polyamory. As in…”

“I date both of you. Not at the same time, not at first anyway, cause I think Oliver would shoot you and that is the polar opposite of romance. No, do not want. Just… you and me, we keep doing our thing, same as we have been.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “And Oliver and I will see what kind of a thing we can have.”

“I gotta… I need to think about this a little,” Barry decided after a long pause. Her face fell, even as she nodded in understanding. “I don’t want to hurt you either, Felicity, but this is a big thing you’re proposing and I need to think about it. Can I just… is it okay if I just go for a run, take a little while to think?”

“Yeah, of course, take your time. I mean, don’t take too much time, but… yeah, think about it.” Felicity smiled weakly.

“Hey.” He tugged on her hands, pulling her towards him. “I’m just going to go somewhere that Oliver isn’t so I can think clearly, and once I’ve figured out what I want to say, I’ll come right back and we’ll talk again, okay?”

“Okay.” He leaned down and kissed her lightly, which only served to remind him how much he didn’t want to lose her.

“I’ll be back,” he promised, letting go of her hands and speeding away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of things!
> 
> First, friendly reminder that my knowledge of how to have healthy relationships is not the same knowledge that the characters have. They're going to screw up and do bad things because that's what people do. Have faith and patience that any and all mistakes they make will eventually work out or be fixed. 
> 
> Second, long fic. I, like many of my fellow authors, know many of the key points we will be hitting, and the details get worked out as we go. That little question mark will remain for a long time because I have no idea how long of a journey it will be to the end. So, for those of you getting in for the long haul, thank you (I love you). 
> 
> Third, I'm amazed I was able to get this edited and up early as well as magically finishing writing 22 and starting 23 this week. It has been a hell of a week (we had a big event at work on Saturday, and we lost a horse Friday afternoon and another Monday afternoon). Despite that, looks like we'll be sticking with the Weds night/Thursday updates! Yay! 
> 
> Fourth, you guys are the best. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> (Fifth, if you wanted a vague playlist for this story, look up the chapter titles. Only the first few chapter titles aren't songs.)


	22. The Kids Aren't Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs a little time and space to think.

Barry ran out of the city, into a quiet park in the suburbs. He skidded to a stop between several trees, hoping no one noticed him. Kids played, parents talked, teens walked around, and no one suspected a metahuman in their midst. Or lurking behind a tree, his mind miles from this park, as the case was.

This wasn’t a metahuman crisis anyway. Those, he could handle. This was a personal crisis without easy answers. When it came to those, he knew just who he wanted to talk to. It wasn’t a good time, and he knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but boy did he need the help. He made the call, sitting down under a tree.

“Barry?” Iris sounded surprised as she answered the phone.

“Hey, Iris… I’m sorry, I know it’s weird for me to call out of the blue. I know I’ve been a terrible friend lately, I’ve just been-”

“Busy, I know. And it’s okay, but Barry, you could try to make a little time for me,” she chided. He groaned and banged the back of his head on the tree.

“I’m sorry. I promise, I’m going to. As soon as I get back to Central City.”

“Where are you? I figured you weren’t here, or we could talk face to face…”

“I’m in Starling City. And I need some advice.” He winced. “I’m sorry in advance for what I’m about to lay on you…”

“This sounds good.” He heard the rustling of fabric faintly in the background as she settled in. “What’s up?”

“You remember how you told me I should maybe ask Felicity Smoak out?” He built up the story from there, trying to stick as close to the truth as he could. The timing wasn’t totally accurate, and of course there were a lot of details that he couldn’t tell her, which perhaps made the tale make a little less sense. Oliver’s involvement was both central to the story and a detail he couldn’t reveal at all. Given the halting, broken way he had to talk to Iris about his love life, he thought that once things settled down a little bit here, he should try to reduce the number of secrets he kept from her. He just couldn’t do anything about it right now.

Calling Oliver “someone Felicity works with” and trying to explain the depth of her feelings for him while also not giving away his identity was a nearly impossible task. Even though she was quiet, just letting him get it all out, he could feel her confusion and curiosity in her silence.

“So, she keeps saying that she doesn’t want to hurt either of us and that she can be happy with both of us, and while I’m still trying to get used to that, she suggested polyamory, and I just don’t know what to think or do.” He finally stopped talking and just focused on breathing.

“That is… a lot,” Iris started. “Barry, you owe me a sit down lunch and a full, in person conversation when you get back.”

“I do.”

“Right now, though… well, do you love Felicity?” He hesitated before answering. He’d said the words a handful of times, mostly after crises.

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“You think?”

“Everything is really confusing today, okay? I thought for a minute that she was breaking up with me. I don’t think my heart is ready to commit to anything more than ‘I think I love her’ right now.”

“Okay, okay!” She giggled a little at his dramatics. “Well, Barry, you think you love her… do you want to be with her or not?”

“You make it sound really simple.”

“You have options. You could agree, try the whole ‘sharing your girlfriend’ thing, and get to keep her. Or you could say no, hope the other guy also says no, and then she picks between the two of you, and she picks you. But if he doesn’t say no, or she refuses to pick, then you lose her,” Iris reasoned.

“I don’t want to lose her,” he said immediately.

“So you already have your answer,” she pointed out. “What do you want me to do? Tell you that it’s not crazy to try this? Point out that you already have a long distance relationship and don’t see her all the time anyway? Just agree with you so you feel better about this?”

“Yes, all of that sounds great.”

“That’s what I just did.”

“It helped.”

“Good. So, what do you think of this other guy? If Felicity’s dating him too, you’ll at least hear a lot about him, maybe see him around… is that something you’d be okay with?” Barry made sure to think before speaking, so to avoid slipping up.

“He’s a really good guy,” he said. A little stubborn, prone to poor decisions when emotional, but heroic and self-sacrificing. Overprotective, but caring. All in all, Barry really did like Oliver, and he could easily understand how Felicity liked him. He was attractive, too… Barry suddenly remembered Felicity trying to deflect his curiosity a year ago, saying that it sounded like Barry wanted to date Oliver, or maybe it was date the Arrow. Not that it mattered, with them being one and the same. He quickly moved past that thought, not about to share it with Iris.

For all his faults, Oliver was actually a very good man, and if he was going to enter into this kind of relationship with someone, Oliver was not a bad choice. They already got along fairly well, for as much as things had been tense lately. It wasn’t like Oliver wasn’t already a part of his life with the way Felicity and Oliver worked together. “Honestly, I see him a bit already and hear a lot about him, and I think I would like that… like to know him better, that is.”

“Does it help if I agree with you?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Iris.”

“You’re welcome. Good luck with Felicity and her other boyfriend.” Barry cringed when she said that, but told himself to suck it up and get used to it. It sounded funny, but he supposed the weird feelings would pass as he got used to the idea.

“Thanks, I think.”

“Barry? I miss having talks like this about our lives. I miss my best friend.”

“I miss you too, Iris.” He closed his eyes and banged his head softly against the tree. Everything was getting too complicated. “As soon as we figure this out and I get back home, we’ll catch up. I promise.”

“Good. I’m holding you to that.”

\------------------------

Oliver continued to stare at the space where Felicity had been long after he heard the front door open and shut. In all his daydreams, every way he’d thought this situation out, it had always ended with some variation of her throwing herself at him. He realized that was never a likely outcome, as Felicity was not the “throw myself at a guy” kind of person, but he’d been dreaming, and in his dreams, anything was possible. However, in his dreams, Barry wasn’t even a factor.

In reality, Barry was his friend and ally. He had grown a lot since the first time they’d met and was truly stepping up to fill the role of hero. Oliver certainly didn’t want to hurt him, and while a little friendly competition was fun, competing over Felicity was not at all acceptable for more reasons than just this.

He had hoped that this would simplify things and improve his life, but instead, it’d blown up in his face. He tried to stop thinking about the ways this was going wrong and could get worse.

Of course, it had been short sighted and extremely selfish of him to lay his feelings out for Felicity and expect her to act on them. He just hadn’t expected her to proposed dating both of them at the same time. Well, not at the exact same time, he hoped. In reality, the only thing that would be changing would be his relationship with Felicity. He was already grudgingly used to the two of them dating. This would just involve having to actually come to terms with it.

For Felicity, he could do that. Right?

Or would his jealousy prove too great an obstacle? That was what had driven them to this point: his jealousy over seeing Barry with Felicity. Polyamory didn’t solve that problem at all. And what if that caused everything to disintegrate? What if he lost Felicity, or worse, drove her away? What if this caused Team Arrow to fall apart? Could they handle the fallout if everything went sideways? 

\-------------------------

Felicity was torn between staying outside, where Oliver couldn’t hear her if she started talking to herself or doing anything else embarrassing, and going back inside, where there were things like ice cream and couches. In the end, inside won out, but she went straight to the computer to absently check on various projects while thinking.

It was entirely possible that in trying to have her cake and eat it too, she’d actually dropped the cake on the ground and her fork was on the first train out of town. She might have just lost the people who mattered most to her. And worse, she’d still be seeing them regularly, since Team Arrow and Team Flash couldn’t function without her tech expertise. She resisted the urge to bang her head on the keyboard a few times since her computer had done nothing wrong to deserve such treatment. She was the one risking everything and possibly ruining it all.

But on the flip side, this could work out. She could get to have not only the amazing relationship she and Barry had built, but also the relationship she and Oliver had danced around and dreamed about. And with her as mediator, maybe she could also fix whatever personal drama they stirred up with each other. Maybe her fork really was just taking a run to clear his mind and he’d come back to her, and maybe her cake was just out of sight for the moment but actually totally okay and not all squished.

Maybe it would all work out. Maybe it wouldn’t. The decision was out of her hands and in the hands of her boys. Her boys… jealous, possessive Oliver Queen and self-depreciating, impulsive Barry Allen.

“That is not a comforting thought.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew I was going to have this chapter for a while, but I didn't realize how many good things I could set up with it! Whenever I finish writing chapter 23, it's going to make everything worthwhile. Woohoo!
> 
> In the realm of not-so-good news, I used to be keeping about 3 chapters ahead of what I was posting, and now I'm... not. I'm going to try to get you a chapter next Thursday too, but I make no promises. Adult-y business is taking up a lot of my time and energy. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and sticking with me!
> 
> Edit 6/24: So, between work and spontaneously bruising/fracturing my tailbone last night, there will not be a new chapter this week at all. Sorry!


	23. Convergence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make up their minds and try not to make things too awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, I am very sorry for the massive delay. Though I largely have personal things under control, and I've adjusted to having different days off work, I was just not able to get into the right headspace to finish this chapter until last night. 
> 
> Second, I'm still going to try to get chapters up weekly (on Tuesdays now) but they may well be every other week. I'm going to be moving, and at any time, I could be adopting a horse, so there's a lot of things that could interfere with my ability to write (beyond characters being stubborn). 
> 
> Third, thanks for being patient, everyone. Enjoy!

“Hey,” a voice called from across the room. Felicity spun around in her chair and gave Barry a wan, nervous smile. The corner of his mouth turned up in a shadow of his usual grin; he shoved his hands in his pockets and crossed the room. “I did a lot of thinking, got a little advice…”

“And?”

“And… I’m with you. No matter what else happens. If you want to try dating Oliver too, I’m on board.” He nodded solemnly. She looked shocked for a second, then jumped up to hug him.

“Thank you for understanding. You are the best,” she informed him. He smiled and hugged her tight.

“I’m going to remind you that you said that at some point in the future.” She giggled at him.

“Good, you’d better.” When they separated, she sat down at her computer again, while Barry settled nervously on the edge of an armchair.

“So, um… we’ll just… wait to see what Oliver thinks?” Barry asked haltingly, smoothing out his jeans in a nervous gesture.

“Yeah.” Felicity spun her chair in a slow circle, looking up at the vaulted ceilings for lack of a better option. “We might be waiting a while.”

“You don’t say,” Barry deadpanned. She shrugged and spun back to the computer, pulling up the project she had been tinkering with. He got up and leaned over her shoulder, jumping straight into helping her work through a few snags. A few minutes later, their technobabble trailed off at the sound of a walking boot on the staircase. Barry darted back to the chair, trying not to look guilty, while Felicity spun around to face the doorway. Oliver hesitated in the doorway. The tension in the room was only cut by the absolute awkwardness permeating the silence.

“Do you want… should I… go?” Barry asked haltingly, looking between Felicity and Oliver. She bit her lip, eyes flicking nervously from one man to the other.

“No, you should stay,” Oliver answered. He shifted his weight onto his bad leg and immediately back again, taking another awkward moment to fully compose himself. “I’m willing to give this a try,” he finally said. Felicity let out a huge sigh of relief, immediately followed by an embarrassed look at both of them. Oliver just tilted his head curiously, but Barry grinned at her. After taking a second to recompose herself, Felicity gestured to the couches; she sat in the corner of one, Oliver sat on the other, and Barry spun his chair around to face them both.

“So, how exactly is this going to work?” Barry asked. He and Oliver both looked at Felicity, who squirmed for a moment.

“Well. I can’t imagine you both want to go on dates with me at the same time – I mean, I can imagine it and boy does it sound great, just right now, I’m imagining it ending with a repeat showing of the shooting and the lightning tornado and that’s so not how I want our dates to go,” Felicity started. “Plus, Barry, you’re in Central City most of the time with your job and your other job, so I was thinking that we’d keep doing our thing like we have been. And when you’re not here and I can’t go there, Oliver and I can do what we want. And we’ll just split my time fifty-fifty, more or less.”

“That sounds…” Oliver began, frowning.

“…almost like a business deal,” Barry finished for him. “Not a bad one, just… like a business deal. Not exactly the stuff of romance.” Felicity glared at him in an effort to make him ignore her pink cheeks.

“You wanted to know how exactly this would work, and that’s what I’ve got. I don’t want either of you sabotaging each other!” She shifted her glare to Oliver, who she knew was more likely to do that and therefore needed the warning more. “When I’m with one of you, the other one doesn’t get to try to steal me away unless the world is ending – I mean that. World is ending, organized crime trying to destroy the Glades, metahuman trying to rip a hole in space-time, you can interrupt. Should interrupt. Anything else, absolutely not. So I feel like laying out the non-romantic details is kind of important right now.

“I’m not going to schedule my time or anything. We can’t even have solid date nights, any of us, because every time we try to plan something in advance, a metahuman decides to rob banks or a crimelord starts making vertigo again. But when we do make plans, I expect both of you to be good about it and not try to ruin things for each other or make me feel guilty about it. Got it?” Barry’s eyebrows climbed towards his hairline, but he couldn’t help a grin. Oliver, on the other hand, was frowning thoughtfully, trying to hide the look of being caught red handed.

“That works for me,” Barry said, looking to Oliver for agreement. After a moment, the older man nodded.

“Good. Great!” Felicity wriggled forward to the edge of her seat. “I know this is going to take adjustment and you both have to think and have feelings and process them or ignore them, but right now no one is trying to kill anybody in either of our cities, so we’re going to get started on this tonight. Barry and I are going to have the date night he owes me, and then tomorrow, Oliver, you and I are going to have a proper date and do things right this time.” She paused, taking in their bewildered yet enthralled expressions. “That wasn’t really negotiable anyway, so… good.” She stood up, and Barry followed suit. “Can you… give us a minute?”

“Sure, yeah, I’ll meet you outside.” He left the mansion at a surprisingly normal pace. Once he was out of sight, Felicity sat down next to Oliver, lightly touching the back of his hand. 

“Hey. If something isn’t okay with you, you have to tell me, alright?”

“I will.”

“I mean it. This isn’t going to work if you do the ‘don’t talk about my feelings’ thing and make me guess what you’re thinking all the time.” She looked at him sternly until he smiled and looked down at their hands.

“I promise. I will.”

“Okay, good.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Tomorrow. It’s a date.” With that, she left, missing the hopelessly adoring look he gave her back. 

\---------------------------

Even their first date hadn’t been this awkward. So much had changed in the past day that date night almost seemed like it had been a bad idea. Until they gave up on being out and just went back to Felicity’s apartment.

“We’ll figure out how to do this,” Felicity promised.

“We will, I know that… it’s just been a really long day, y’know?” Barry flopped down on her couch; she sat next to him, playfully bumping his knee with hers. “And on top of everything else, I think I’m going to tell Iris about the Flash.”

“Really? I mean, don’t get me wrong, secret keeping is bad, makes it hard to keep friends, but are you sure?”

“Not totally. But I’m tired of not being able to talk to her without lying to her face. She deserves to know. She’s my best friend.” Felicity nodded in agreement, which helped soothe Barry’s nerves a bit. “I’m not sure how much to tell her about you guys, though. I can’t tell her anything about Oliver, both because he’s dead and because I can’t go around telling other people his secret identity or anything.”

“Well, you can say that. ‘I know the Arrow, but his secret identity isn’t my secret to share,’” Felicity suggested, pitching her voice down.

“I don’t sound like that!” Barry laughed, elbowing her.

“I wasn’t imitating you! I was imitating Oliver with his ‘that’s not your secret to share’ line he was so hung up on when we brought you in!” She retaliated by poking him, then dissolved into laughter as he tackled her into the cushions. He pinned her down, grinning at her as she tried to catch her breath and stop giggling.

“He doesn’t sound like that either, but that was a great effort. Really, gold star, you tried.” His grin softened to an appreciative smile. “That is a good idea, though. I’ll just skirt around the Arrow details as much as possible and hope she’s not too mad at me for lying about the Flash.”

“I’m sure she’ll come around. Who can resist this face?” Felicity poked the tip of his nose. “I know I can’t.”

“That’s reassuring. So if I asked for something, you’d be powerless to resist?”

“Oh no, I didn’t say that. I implied it, but I didn’t say it, and it’s really unfair for you to try to take advantage of me like that-” She cut herself off as he leaned down to kiss her. “Never mind, take advantage. Please,” she mumbled against his lips, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close.

They spent the rest of the night in, making the most of a night without chaos. But come morning, Barry returned to Central City, and Felicity went back to work at Palmer Technologies – the curse of Monday mornings. And in true Monday fashion, the work day seemed to drag on forever for Felicity. As soon as she could leave, she did, walking briskly; as she passed a security guard, he jokingly asked if she had a hot date.

“Yes, actually,” she replied, breezing past him. His slightly shocked face buoyed her around the corner, where she almost literally ran someone over. After making her apologies, she carried on slightly more cautiously. She picked up food and headed straight to Queen Mansion. Oliver greeted her at the door; he’d made an effort and put on jeans and a button down. The look was slightly marred by the walking boot and his arm still being in a sling. 

“Italian,” Felicity said, holding up the take out bag. “Everyone likes Italian, right?”

“I thought we were pretending that date didn’t happen,” he replied with a smile, gesturing for her to come in.

“Oh no, it happened.” She walked past him, aware of him appreciating the cute green dress she’d picked today. “We are not pretending anything about it. So we got a little blown up, and then you broke my heart in a hospital corridor. That’s a part of our history together, Oliver. It stays.” He trailed after her, eyebrows raised in surprise. She stopped abruptly just inside the living room.

“Understood. So… what do you think?” He had recruited Diggle to help him with a few changes in preparation for date night, and he thought that the end result was worth the carefully invasive questions and knowing looks Dig had given him the entire time. They’d tried to make the room feel a bit cozier with softer lighting, candles on the tables, cushy throw pillows…

“Oliver,” Felicity breathed, turning slowly to look at him. He met her eyes and gave her the soft smile only she could ever draw out of him. “It’s perfect,” she declared, grabbing his good hand and dragging him as fast as he could limp to the couch. She settled him in the corner, spread out dinner, then eagerly sat down next to him. “This is exactly what we needed for our first date.”

“Second first date,” he added. “I wasn’t sure if this would be… enough.”

“Don’t get me wrong, being taken out to a nice restaurant is amazing, but this is us. Nothing fancy, just you and me, figuring out who we’re going to be for each other and how this is going to go. I’m just as happy to be here on this couch with you.” She elbowed him gently. “Besides, you’re not exactly Mr. Social on the best of days, and these days are not the best of them. This is perfect.”

“I’m glad.” They shared a smile, then shared dinner. Dinner devolved into talking, Felicity kicked off her heels and hesitantly curled into Oliver’s side, and then all the uncertainties and complications didn’t matter. However unusual and difficult this situation might be, they’d figure it out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, more plot in Chapter 24. I have plans, and I have it half written already. Whew.


	24. Said Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some secrets are hard to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet mother of monkeys, I'm so sorry this took so long, guys. I owe you an explanation. First, real life interfered. Since my last update, I moved, we had several small crises at work, had to put three horses down, and my family came to visit. It's been very, very crazy and I have not had the time or energy for writing and editing in large bursts, which was how I was so productive at the beginning. Second, I wrote a full chapter within a week of the last update... only I realized as I started to edit that it was actually Chapter 25, and I had missed a plot point. Hence the delay. 
> 
> But! Expect Chapter 25 within the week! And I hope you all enjoy the twists and turns coming up!

“Wow, look at you, with a real desk and a nametag and everything!” Barry teased Iris by way of greeting. She looked up from her computer with a broad grin.

“I know, it’s almost like I have a real job!” She saved and closed out of her current project. “Which you’d know more about if you were ever around…”

“For real? Already with the guilt trips,” he groaned, aware that it was a fair jab. She’d been working for the paper for about two months and he hadn’t visited her until just now. “Come on, Iris, I’m trying here. We’re going to lunch!”

“Hey, you earned that one. I’m done now.” She picked up her purse and elbowed him gently. “Let’s have that lunch you owe me.”

“That didn’t sound like you’re done.” As they walked to lunch, they caught up on all the trivial details about their jobs. That segued into discussing Iris moving in with Eddie. It used to be a tense topic, but today, the conversation flowed naturally. Barry wasn’t jealous or upset about their relationship, or at least not to the degree he had been.

“… and it seems like every time we’re about to make some kind of decision on something serious together, someone gets robbed or something, and he has to run. I know it’s not his fault, but it feels like he’s running away from it, you know?”

“No, yeah, that makes sense. It really isn’t his fault. Those phone calls suck.” That was perhaps one of the few things he empathized with Eddie on. The rest of the domestic, romantic fluff Iris kept talking about felt like something fictional, something that only happened to other people.

“So, hey, how are things with you and Felicity and…” Iris let the sentence hang, daring Barry to fill in a name.

“Oh, they’re good,” he answered, blatantly ignoring the bait. “I mean, awkward at first… but really, nothing’s changed. Felicity is still Felicity, I’m still me, we’re still us. We get each other. We just had to get back to that for me to realize everything really would be okay.”

“Good! Good, really. I’m happy for you. And things are good between you and the other guy?”

“They’re… awkward too. Kinda tense. But we’ll figure it out. Felicity’s made it clear she won’t let either of us be stupid about this.”

“She’s smart.”

“Very.” Barry couldn’t stop a slightly dopey grin in response. Iris giggled.

“So, how do you hope things work out?”

“You know, I’m not sure,” he said after a thoughtful pause. “I’m just hoping we’ll get past the uncertainty and tension to a friendlier place, I guess. Anything after that’s just… whatever it is, I guess.” Whatever his feelings about Oliver might be, he wasn’t ready to try braving that minefield with Iris. They both let that train of conversation taper off, then moved on to fill the rest of lunch with all the things they’d left unsaid recently.

“It feels like we haven’t been able to talk like this in forever,” Iris said as they left the restaurant

“I’m sorry, that’s probably my fault. But I’m glad we’re fixing it,” he answered honestly.

“Me too.”

“Hey, in the interest of fixing things… I have something else I want to tell you.” He took her hand and tugged her down a side street and into an alley, where they were more out of view.

“Sure, what is it?”

“So I, um, I’ve been keeping this secret from you for a while, for a lot of reasons, and I’m just- I’m tired of it, I’ve wanted to tell you forever, but I’ve been scared, and I’m just going to do it.” He paused to breathe, having babbled all that at her without stopping. She was mostly amused and tried not to let her curiosity pressure him. “Okay, okay, just going to tell you… or maybe showing you would be easier.” In the blink of an eye, he stole her phone out of her purse, ran up to the top of the building behind him, took a selfie of himself leaning over the edge with her behind him on the ground, then sped back down to put her phone back in her hand.

“If you could delete that picture once you figure it out, that’d be great,” he said to her, only increasing the confusion that settled in during the second and a half he’d been gone. She looked at the screen and her jaw dropped. After a few wordless gestures, several disbelieving looks, and more than one aborted sentence, she managed to get going.

“How did you do that? You’d have to be- but you said you weren’t the Flash!” He motioned for her to keep it down, looking around them nervously.

“I know, I lied. I lied a lot. They call it a secret identity for a reason.” That was apparently the wrong thing to say, as her excitement rapidly turned to hurt, then to anger.

“You’ve been lying to me for five months about this. And not just you you, but the Flash also lied to my face. You – I couldn’t decide if I should be furious or grateful because the Flash picked me to be his personal reporter! But it was you the whole time! Just tell me, Barry, why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Iris…” He rapid-fire ran through several options for what to say, nearly pulled his hair out at lightning speed, and finally said: “I thought I was protecting you. I’m in danger, I make a lot of enemies, and I thought-”

“You thought that if I didn’t know your secret identity I’d be safer? You still thought that after Tony Woodward kidnapped me? I was in danger because I knew the Flash, not because I knew your secret.” She glowered up at him and dared him to disagree.

“I know, I just thought- I wasn’t- I wanted to tell you, so many times I almost told you, but Joe-”

“My dad knew the whole time? And he wanted you to lie to me to, what, keep me safe? And you listened to him?” Iris shook her head and took a step back, holding her hands up to keep him away. “No, Barry, you should have told me. These excuses don’t justify what you did. They’re terrible reasons, and you know it. You should have told me.”

“I’m sorry, Iris.”

“You should be.” She turned and stalked away, leaving Barry heartbroken and reeling.


	25. Soft Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starling City is still under eminent threat, and Team Arrow won't be attacking that problem alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this and wasn't sure when I was going to get it up. Today's a good day. For a chapter, that is; we lost another horse last night and I'm just tired. I hope this summer turns around so I have energy to write more often. I'm making you exactly one promise: I don't know when I'll get you chapters, but I will not abandon this project. Whatever happens, I will finish it. 
> 
> Anyway, sorry for being such a downer. Enjoy the chapter!

“I’m calling this meeting of the Anti-Malcolm Merlyn Club to order,” Felicity announced loudly to the assembled Team Arrow and Team Flash. She was the last to arrive, having had to deal with some hare-brained idea of Ray’s at the end of the day. Everyone else had made themselves relatively at home in the living room of Queen mansion, which of course made Oliver feel distinctly not at ease. Even if he did have the home court advantage.

“We’re not calling it that,” Oliver protested, knowing full well he would probably be ignored and the name would stick.

“You come up with a better name, then, ‘Arrow,’” Felicity challenged. Cisco snickered into his hand and pointedly did not look at Oliver. “While we’ve been dealing with everything else, I took some time to set up some searches to track down any copies or backups of the video Malcolm has of Thea and Sara.”

“Wait, what?” Cisco raised his hand, but started asking questions before anyone could acknowledge it. “I know we worked on the DNA sample on the arrow that killed Sara, but I thought that was Oliver’s?”

“It wasn’t,” Oliver answered shortly.

“It was Thea’s. It wasn’t her fault, it was Malcolm Merlyn, you know – the Dark Archer, mastermind of the Undertaking. He drugged and brainwashed Thea into killing Sara, took a video of it, then used it as leverage over Oliver to make him fight Ra’s to clear Malcolm’s debts,” Felicity summarized. “Which did not work out well for anyone. So I thought that video was the place to start. Find it, delete it, remove the leverage. Then we can just hand Malcolm over to Nyssa and be done with this.”

“I’m not sure Nyssa is necessarily our ally, if she is at all convinced I really did have a hand in Sara’s death. I don’t think it will be that simple.”

“Place to start, that’s all it is. Or would be, if it worked. I can’t find any traces of that video anywhere, which means it’s not anywhere that I can get to or have gotten to before… so the only copies must be on his phone and his personal computers, which are so heavily protected that I can barely get a look at them, let alone try to get into from here. He knew I’d try. He probably remembers how I got into the Merlyn Global systems way back when, paid someone to construct a defense. Not that he can stop me forever, I just need a way in. A physical way in.”

“Thea,” Roy suggested. Oliver immediately scowled and opened his mouth to protest.

“We need a much better plan before we read her in and try to use her for access to Malcolm,” Diggle argued first. Oliver shut his mouth and nodded in agreement. “And how can we be sure she won’t betray us?”

“She’s my sister, John. She wouldn’t.”

“You had the same faith that your mother wasn’t involved in the Undertaking, Oliver. You have a massive blindspot where your family is concerned,” Dig countered. “I’m not saying she’ll do it willingly, but she might be manipulated by Malcolm, or she could be upset about being kept in the dark so long. I’m just saying that if we’re going to make this play, we need to have a plan.”

“If we can read her in the right way, manipulate the situation to limit the risk… we could turn her solidly against him and get her to help us,” Felicity mused.

“Show her the Foundry,” Barry suggested. “Remind her of all the good things the Arrow has done.”

“I don’t think you get to tell me how to stop lying to people I’ve been trying to protect,” Oliver said scathingly, glaring at the younger superhero. Barry reeled back, as though he’d been struck. He had told Felicity about the situation with Iris, but hadn’t told Oliver… unless she had? Or maybe that had just been a dig at him since they both had lied to a lot of people? 

“Hey!” Felicity snapped, glaring at Oliver. “He’s trying to help. You started this mess by not telling her two years ago. And Thea is the only way we can get to Malcolm that isn’t risking anybody’s life.”

“Other than hers,” Laurel interjected. “What if Malcolm turns on her?”

“He wouldn’t. Not just because he values her as his blood more than he ever cared about Tommy,” Oliver said, his scowl softening slightly when Laurel flinched. “But if Malcolm hurts Thea, he stops having any kind of leverage over me or us.” Off to the side, Caitlin and Cisco exchanged a very confused look.

“And he opens himself up to Ra’s.” Felicity pulled up old Verdant security footage, showing the night Malcolm told Oliver about Sara. “We have him on tape, and he has to know that. Verdant isn’t exactly a shady alleyway or warehouse or anything. Without Thea, he’s responsible completely, and we can prove it.”

“So, what, we tell Thea and then just assume she’ll go along with our plan? I doubt she’ll be that agreeable. She still trusts him. He did save her, teach her…” The words were bitter in Oliver’s mouth.

“We tell her the whole truth,” Roy offered hesitantly. “Everything. Maybe not the part about Oliver not really being dead, not yet, because then she definitely won’t help us, but… about her killing Sara.”

“Absolutely not. I am not ever telling her that,” Oliver protested immediately, standing up in the beginning of rage. “I promised to protect her-”

“By lying to her? We’ve seen how well that’s worked for all of us,” Barry countered, standing up to stare Oliver down. “What happened happened, and she deserves to know, much as it sucks. Lying to her isn’t protecting her – it’s protecting you from her reaction. If you don’t tell her, she’ll be even angrier.” Please believe me, I speak from experience, he thought. 

“And besides,” Felicity interjected before Oliver could try to respond. “It won’t be you. It’ll be us. You’re still dead to her, at least until we can be sure she won’t tell Malcolm. Though that’s going to be a pretty hard sell in the end… We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

“I don’t like this,” Oliver insisted.

“Well, congratulations. You lost the moral high ground and authority down here when you let Malcolm Merlyn back you into a corner and ran off to fight someone you couldn’t hope to beat,” Laurel snapped, surprising everyone. “What, did you forget what he did to Tommy all those years ago? How he tried to kill everyone and did kill your best friend? And then you found out he was responsible for the death of my sister – your friend – and you just let him blackmail you?

“I don’t care about your code, about your ‘new way’ to be the Arrow. You failed Sara, you failed me, you failed Thea, you failed Tommy… you failed this city, Oliver Queen.” She glowered at him, and he stepped back, sitting down again very slowly. “You don’t get to make decisions about how we clean up your mess.” A heavy silence descended on the mansion.

“Okay, it’s decided,” Roy said, trying to steer things back to a more pleasant - or least constructive - place. “Felicity, Dig, Laurel, and I will tell Thea, we’ll have her help us get to Malcolm, and once the video’s gone and we have more dirt on him, we’ll figure out how to get rid of him. Then we can deal with the rest.”

“Sounds great. And anything you need our help for, you know we’re always here for you.” Caitlin jumped on the opportunity to move things along. “And we might need a little of your help, depending…”

“What’s going on? If there’s anything we can do…” Felicity motioned to her computer.

“It’s Ronnie. We hadn’t heard anything about him since… since he saved Barry from the man in yellow. But a few reports popped up again, and we’re afraid things are getting worse. We want to bring him in.”

“Yeah, whatever you need. I’ll set up a search and if anyone spots him and says anything about it on the internet, we’ll know.” Felicity spun back to her keyboard and started working.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” Caitlin offered her a small smile, even though Felicity was already absorbed in working on it. The assembled vigilantes and partners-in-not-really-crime tried to talk about lighter subjects, but eventually gave up and disbanded for the night. Felicity, Roy, Laurel, and Diggle had a follow-up meeting just outside the front door to make a plan for Thea without Oliver arguing with their every move.

The plan relied heavily on Roy – and on Thea not deciding this was one lie too many to handle. He agonized for hours about exactly when and how to start. Lying awake in bed didn’t help, so he headed down to the couch to consider his options some more. Thea woke up around noon and found him reclined on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Hey,” she said sleepily, stretching. “How long have you been up?”

“A while,” he answered, sitting up. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah…” She eyed him sideways as she moved into the kitchen. “I worked you pretty hard last night. I thought you’d still be asleep.”

“I had a lot to think about.” He hesitated. “I, um… have another secret I want to share with you.”

“Okay.” Thea smiled at him. “Good. Can I get coffee first?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure. It’s actually… I have to show you this one. So whenever you’re awake and ready to go…”

“This should be good.”

“Oh, I really hope so,” he muttered, shooting Felicity a quick text. She promised to be at the Foundry when he got there, even though it was the middle of a work day, and she’d try to have Laurel and Diggle there too. All through getting dressed and waiting for Thea, Roy imagined all the ways this could go wrong. It had seemed a much better idea when he’d proposed it last night, but now that it was really happening, he understood why Oliver had been so hesitant.

“So, where are we going?” Thea asked as they headed out. Roy took a deep breath.

“Verdant.”

“Roy. We really don’t need to put in this kind of overtime,” she teased.

“We aren’t going there for the club. I’ll explain it when we’re there, I promise.” She shrugged and pulled out her phone, making notes for today’s work. Roy tried not to let his nerves turn him into the kind of driver that had more run-ins with cops. He pulled up at the club and locked the door behind Thea and him.

“Alright. Do you remember how the first year Oliver had the club, Tommy paid off an inspector not to look at the basement?” He cringed as Thea blinked away a few tears and her face set at the mention and memory of her lost brothers. “Well, I’m going to show you what’s in the basement.”

“Ollie said it was just used for storage initially, that it’s not up to code,” she said, weakly protesting even as he led her down the back hallway.

“You don’t put a biometric lock on basic storage,” Roy pointed out, letting them in. The lights were already on downstairs; there could be no turning back now. He breathed deeply, trying to stay calm. “Oliver was hiding something from you – and from everyone else.” He gestured for her to lead the way down the stairs. Rather than see whatever surprise and betrayal might be on her face, he would stop her from running up the stairs, if she tried to.

She didn’t. She slowed down with each step, staring at the Foundry. Felicity sat in her chair, facing the stairs, while Diggle leaned on the table by his drawer of guns and medical supplies. Laurel stood confidently beside her suit and staffs. Oliver’s suit was on its mannequin, front and center with his bow, with Roy’s suit to one side and the naked mannequin for Barry on the other. The salmon ladder, the sparring mat, Oliver’s trunk from Lian Yu… it was all just the way he always kept it. Thea stopped at the bottom of the stairs, her hand lingering on the railing, as she took it all in.

“This… the whole time… the Hood, the Arrow, he was in my basement. And you were helping him. Not just with… the vigilante… stuff… you lied for him. You lied to me… for him. He lied to me. Constantly.” Thea shook her head. “I knew he was hiding things from me from the day he got back from that island, but this… he hid this from me for years. My own brother.” Her voice broke.

“Thea-” Roy tried.

“How long did you all know about this?” she interrupted, not wanting comfort. “When did he tell you?” Everyone else exchanged looks for a moment.

“Shortly after he started this, I was poisoned and would have died if Oliver hadn’t been there. He had to tell me. I’ve helped him ever since, pretty much,” Diggle answered.

“Your mother shot him a few months before the Undertaking, and he came to me for help. Well, he broke into my car and tried not to literally die in my backseat, and he couldn’t go to the hospital or they’d realize he was the vigilante, so I had to bring him here. I signed on to help find Walter, but I couldn’t leave- this. What we do here. Or him.” Felicity gave Thea a small smile.

“It was while I was trying to learn to control my strength due to the Mirakuru. I was losing it, couldn’t focus, and he took his hood off and used your name to get me to pay attention. I saved both our lives after that.” Roy smirked. “And then we had to talk about that time he shot me.” Thea flinched as she added that realization to the ever growing understanding of exactly who her brother had been.

“He never told me, even though he claimed he had wanted to,” Laurel said bitterly. “I figured it out for myself and confronted him. He’s lied to all of us enough about everything, and it’s time for all of that to stop.”

“That sounds like Oliver,” Thea replied, her voice thick. She walked forward into the heart of the Foundry, looking around at the tables, the weapons, the suits. “So, my boyfriend is Arsenal… you’re the Black Canary… what does that make you two?”

“I’m backup and recon,” Diggle answered. “And emergency medical.”

“Oh, I don’t go out there. I stay here, with my computers.” Felicity squirmed. “I can’t fight. I just get information and keep everyone connected.”

“Alright. So why didn’t Oliver ever tell me this? Why did you wait until- until now?”

“He was trying to keep you safe,” Diggle explained. “You weren’t ready for the knowledge when he first started out, and then he started making enemies. He didn’t want you in the middle of this.”

“But then you went away with Malcolm. You know, Malcolm ‘I’m going to destroy the Glades and kill everyone in it including my own son,’ that guy? He brought you into this, and you need to know the whole truth, starting from the very beginning,” Felicity continued.

“Oh, this should be good.” Thea rolled her eyes and crossed her arms defensively.

“Before you were born, when Rebecca Merlyn was killed, Malcolm just left.” As the only person involved at the time, Laurel felt it was on her to explain. “He vanished for years, just left Tommy with the Queens. When he came back, he was different. He had been to Nanda Parbat and joined the League of Assassins, and he came back specifically to destroy the Glades.”

“He got everyone rich and powerful involved. There was a notebook with their names in it – including your parents,” Diggle continued. “But when Robert Queen started hesitating about the plan, Malcolm had to get rid of him. He sabotaged the Gambit-”

“It was Malcolm’s fault?” Thea’s incredulity gave way to anger. “He had my father killed, almost killed my brother, all because my dad decided not to go along with killing innocent people?”

“Basically, yeah. Like we said, he’s a villain. He was responsible for Oliver being on the island, and without opposition, he engineered the Undertaking. Oliver had that list, and he was trying to take everyone down, and once we caught his trail, we did everything we could to thwart the Undertaking. We even dismantled one earthquake device before it could start, but he had prepared for that and had a second one… and he killed 503 people.

“He laid low until Slade’s Mirakuru army attacked last year, when he came for you. And now we know why.” Felicity finally paused, biting her lip briefly before going on. “The Undertaking upset the head of the League, Ra’s Al Ghul. He wants to punish Malcolm, which he understandably does not want to face up to. So he came up with a plan – a really terrible, awful plan that hurts a lot of people and in the end didn’t really help him very much, so it wasn’t even a very good plan to start off with…”

“I wasn’t the first Canary on Starling’s streets.” Laurel took over and tried to find the best words to explain the horrible situation. “Sara didn’t just survive the Gambit. She somehow was taken in by the League as well, and they remade her as Ta-er al-Safar – the Canary. She was in love with Nyssa, Ra’s Al Ghul’s daughter, and split her time between helping us and seeing the world with Nyssa.

“Until Malcolm had her killed.” Laurel looked away, refusing to break down again. Thea stared at her in horror.

“Sara… Sara’s dead too?” She looked around frantically for anyone to tell her that this was an elaborate ruse. “When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“October, and Oliver didn’t want anyone to know until we figured out who did it. We wanted to bring her killer to justice.” Laurel turned a vicious glower on Oliver’s suit.

“But if it was Malcolm… why haven’t you done something?”

“It wasn’t Malcolm. He planned it, but he drugged someone else to do it, so they wouldn’t remember it. And he filmed it, which is how we know.” Roy took over, knowing just how touchy this subject was for everyone. “Sara was in the League, remember. The League wants to punish whoever killed her, and they don’t care if that person remembers it or not.”

“This is where that whole bad plan thing comes in,” Felicity jumped in. “Malcolm used the video to blackmail Oliver into challenging Ra’s. If he won, then everyone Ra’s wanted to punish would get off – well, not get off, poor word choice, but you know, not be punished. If he lost, then the Arrow’s out of Malcolm’s way, and he’s still just trying to avoid the League, same as before.”

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t Oliver just… shoot him or something? And he won, right?” No one would meet Thea’s eyes. “Right?” she repeated, desperate.

“Oliver didn’t shoot him because he didn’t want to hurt you, and because he swore not to kill again, out of respect for Tommy,” Felicity said gently. “And he didn’t… he didn’t win.”

“It’s Malcolm’s fault my brother is dead again,” Thea said, her voice flat. Felicity nodded, and Thea finally broke. She took a deep breath and let it out as a shaky sob, then turned and threw herself at Roy. He held her as she cried, exchanging looks with the rest of Team Arrow over her shoulder.

“I didn’t want to believe- after everything he did- he helped me! I thought- he really hasn’t changed at all.” She took a few shaky breaths with her face buried in Roy’s hoodie. In true Queen fashion, she recomposed herself quickly and turned back to face everyone else. “I knew he wasn’t a good person at all, but he promised to teach me and protect me. I had no idea he was doing… that. I won’t be involved with him anymore, I promise.” Felicity and Diggle exchanged a look that asked who was going to break the even worse news.

“That’s not why we told you,” Dig said. “We’re trying to fix this mess, and in order to do so, we’re going to need your help.”

“What?”

“I need access to Malcolm’s personal network in order to erase the video,” Felicity explained. “You’re the only one who can get in there.”

“Great.” Thea laughed bitterly. “I don’t even want to look at that murderer again and you want me to pretend I’m still the good daughter just so you can get this video?”

“You don’t have to do it that way… how you get me access doesn’t matter, really. You can go in there and knock him out for all I care, but none of us can even get close.”

“Why is this video so fucking important anyway?”

“Because as long as he has it, we can’t save you from the League!” Roy burst out without thinking, desperate for her to understand. She turned to look at him with dawning horror. “I mean- I just- I’m sorry, Thea.”

“Please tell me that the League is after me only because I’m Malcolm’s daughter and Oliver’s sister,” she almost begged, not wanting to accept the truth.

“Malcolm abused and manipulated you, the same way he’s treated everyone else in his life,” Laurel said. “It’s not your fault, but the video does show that you were the one who fired the arrow that killed Sara.” Thea shook her head rapidly, tears starting again. “It isn’t your fault. I mean it. You know, Sara came back to Starling to save people. She said once that ‘no woman should ever suffer at the hands of men,’ and she would have been livid to know that Malcolm hurt you like this. She would have been the first person to sign up for whatever it took to take him down.

“So please, help us. We want to help you escape him too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a slow build and I have no idea how many chapters there will be. But we have to start somewhere. 
> 
> Work title from the song "There is No Mathematics to Love and Loss" by Anberlin... which actually lyrically has next to nothing to do with the themes or plots of this.


End file.
